Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
i'm just a stranger who let you think you knew me.
I'm just sitting in my usual corner, drinking a bittersweet orange drink and realizing that I don't even know where to begin this blog. I guess you could say a lot has happened. I guess you could also say nothing has happened. Something has surely changed though. Hello, life.
I guess I'll begin with the usual greeting...
Hello Reader(s?).
My last post appears to be Wednesday. Oh right, I should explain my previous post.
I don't know if you caught the heavy sarcasm and slight denial, but... well, there was in fact heavy sarcasm and slight denial. Wednesday evening was not such a good evening, although the day it's self was good. I was trying to be optimistic, but it all seemed much too bitter. That did not stop me from posting such. Thursday was nothing like I dreaded. I arrived at school early, as per usual, and I panicked about my math exam with some friends, but they made me at least a tiny bit less anxious. I then wrote the exam at 8 am and... I'm confident I passed. Even if I only passed with a low percent in the 50s, that's a lot better than failing. It took me all of the one and a half hour provided, and I skipped only one question. I then went to the wonderful hallway, and became suddenly surrounded by some wonderful people... some wonderful friends, actually. (1) I then socialized for a bit, and got changed out of superlameuniformness. Afterwards called for a bit more socialization, and then some friends and myself left for the parking lot. We went to Emily's house. The five of us (and later, six) just... hung out. It was good. Movies, conversation, randomocity; just overall fun. For almost eleven hours, too. That was pretty much the bulk of my Thursday.
Friday, being today, although more like yesterday, seeing as it's currently 12:07 of Saturday was a little less eventful, but still very good. I went shopping in Michigan with my mother and brother. It was nice. I especially like relatively lengthy drives. I listen to music(2), read a bit, and then I look out the window and reflect on what I've been reading, and then further contemplate anything possibly relevant. (3)
Tomorrow, I don't know what's happening. I was hoping to hang out with Emily, but unless I talk to her tonight, this won't happen. It's probably not going to happen. Darn. Sunday and Monday, I'm hoping I can piece together a plan to see some people. Staying home is out of the question.
I guess this all I have to say, blog-wise. Here goes the rest.
(1) Regarding friends. So it seems I have accomplished what I was slowly convincing myself was impossible. That's right. I made friends. Not just any old friends either! I have a plentiful amount of truly wonderful people that I am well acquainted with. It seems that by isolating myself from majority of the student body has lead me to some of the most wonderful people. They're truly unique people, filled with life, personality and perspective. (4) Unfortunately, they're mostly all in the older grades, and bound to leave me behind eventually. But that's okay. That's what today, tomorrow, next week, next month and so on are for. To make the most of things.
(2) Music. Breaks from studying for my exams consisted of such. I've been researching and acquiring all sorts of new songs and artists to add to my music library. I'm currently at 1923 songs, which is a decent start. I feel like the more music I hear, the more knowledge (No, is it wisdom? Something completely different? I'm not too sure.) I am acquiring. In a way, this is true. Music can offer some of the most unique perspectives. It can be twisted, turned and interpretted so many different ways, offering so much for so many. I truly appreciate this.
(3) Lately, I admit I have been a very happy person. A large portion of this is because of (1), of course. That's not everything though. I'm learning a lot about life every day. I suppose spending time with older people is helping this progress, which is great. I love seeing things differently. I love finding the contrast in things, debating the decisions I make more thoroughly, and shaping all of my life. These young years of my life are key. Everyone I'm surrounded by, the things I do, and all that I learn are all building up to be the great thing that will be... The Rest Of My Life, really. I could throw in a thousand cheesy references right now, but that doesn't seem necessary. I can't really explain this all for you. It just came to me, and I guess soon enough it will just... come to you as well, if it hasn't yet. In a nutshell, I love life.
(4) Finally, perspectives. I'm sure I've mentioned perspective in this blog before. I am so incredibly engrossed with this concept. I want to see the world from every single abstract perspective I can ever find. I want to understand so much. However, this is no obsession or anything similar. This is nothing that my life depends on. It's just something interesting. I can think about perspectives for the longest periods of time, and scarcely get bored. It's all so endless. I suppose the more I understand all of this, the better I'll be able to connect with my favourite thing of all... people.
>Sometimes, I find myself thinking I hate humanity. Truth is, I most definitely do not. Sometimes, I just don't want to accept this. Now is not one of those times. In fact, I'm currently especially intrigued by one or two human beings. Hmm.
In conclusion, I'm growing up. I'm learning. I'm living. I'm completely terrified to post this. I am very insecure when it comes to truly speaking my mind. Once I re-read it, I'm sure I'll find all of this childish and laughable. Lacking in sufficiency. I really don't want to post this. Really. But I will. By posting this, and hopefully not deleting it, I'll be able to look back on this in the future. I can watch myself grow, through this blog? Maybe? After all, why not add my previous self's perspective to my collection of such?
That said, I'm leaving you with this quote, and then I'm off. Good night.
"It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined." :)
I guess I'll begin with the usual greeting...
Hello Reader(s?).
My last post appears to be Wednesday. Oh right, I should explain my previous post.
I don't know if you caught the heavy sarcasm and slight denial, but... well, there was in fact heavy sarcasm and slight denial. Wednesday evening was not such a good evening, although the day it's self was good. I was trying to be optimistic, but it all seemed much too bitter. That did not stop me from posting such. Thursday was nothing like I dreaded. I arrived at school early, as per usual, and I panicked about my math exam with some friends, but they made me at least a tiny bit less anxious. I then wrote the exam at 8 am and... I'm confident I passed. Even if I only passed with a low percent in the 50s, that's a lot better than failing. It took me all of the one and a half hour provided, and I skipped only one question. I then went to the wonderful hallway, and became suddenly surrounded by some wonderful people... some wonderful friends, actually. (1) I then socialized for a bit, and got changed out of superlameuniformness. Afterwards called for a bit more socialization, and then some friends and myself left for the parking lot. We went to Emily's house. The five of us (and later, six) just... hung out. It was good. Movies, conversation, randomocity; just overall fun. For almost eleven hours, too. That was pretty much the bulk of my Thursday.
Friday, being today, although more like yesterday, seeing as it's currently 12:07 of Saturday was a little less eventful, but still very good. I went shopping in Michigan with my mother and brother. It was nice. I especially like relatively lengthy drives. I listen to music(2), read a bit, and then I look out the window and reflect on what I've been reading, and then further contemplate anything possibly relevant. (3)
Tomorrow, I don't know what's happening. I was hoping to hang out with Emily, but unless I talk to her tonight, this won't happen. It's probably not going to happen. Darn. Sunday and Monday, I'm hoping I can piece together a plan to see some people. Staying home is out of the question.
I guess this all I have to say, blog-wise. Here goes the rest.
(1) Regarding friends. So it seems I have accomplished what I was slowly convincing myself was impossible. That's right. I made friends. Not just any old friends either! I have a plentiful amount of truly wonderful people that I am well acquainted with. It seems that by isolating myself from majority of the student body has lead me to some of the most wonderful people. They're truly unique people, filled with life, personality and perspective. (4) Unfortunately, they're mostly all in the older grades, and bound to leave me behind eventually. But that's okay. That's what today, tomorrow, next week, next month and so on are for. To make the most of things.
(2) Music. Breaks from studying for my exams consisted of such. I've been researching and acquiring all sorts of new songs and artists to add to my music library. I'm currently at 1923 songs, which is a decent start. I feel like the more music I hear, the more knowledge (No, is it wisdom? Something completely different? I'm not too sure.) I am acquiring. In a way, this is true. Music can offer some of the most unique perspectives. It can be twisted, turned and interpretted so many different ways, offering so much for so many. I truly appreciate this.
(3) Lately, I admit I have been a very happy person. A large portion of this is because of (1), of course. That's not everything though. I'm learning a lot about life every day. I suppose spending time with older people is helping this progress, which is great. I love seeing things differently. I love finding the contrast in things, debating the decisions I make more thoroughly, and shaping all of my life. These young years of my life are key. Everyone I'm surrounded by, the things I do, and all that I learn are all building up to be the great thing that will be... The Rest Of My Life, really. I could throw in a thousand cheesy references right now, but that doesn't seem necessary. I can't really explain this all for you. It just came to me, and I guess soon enough it will just... come to you as well, if it hasn't yet. In a nutshell, I love life.
(4) Finally, perspectives. I'm sure I've mentioned perspective in this blog before. I am so incredibly engrossed with this concept. I want to see the world from every single abstract perspective I can ever find. I want to understand so much. However, this is no obsession or anything similar. This is nothing that my life depends on. It's just something interesting. I can think about perspectives for the longest periods of time, and scarcely get bored. It's all so endless. I suppose the more I understand all of this, the better I'll be able to connect with my favourite thing of all... people.
>Sometimes, I find myself thinking I hate humanity. Truth is, I most definitely do not. Sometimes, I just don't want to accept this. Now is not one of those times. In fact, I'm currently especially intrigued by one or two human beings. Hmm.
In conclusion, I'm growing up. I'm learning. I'm living. I'm completely terrified to post this. I am very insecure when it comes to truly speaking my mind. Once I re-read it, I'm sure I'll find all of this childish and laughable. Lacking in sufficiency. I really don't want to post this. Really. But I will. By posting this, and hopefully not deleting it, I'll be able to look back on this in the future. I can watch myself grow, through this blog? Maybe? After all, why not add my previous self's perspective to my collection of such?
That said, I'm leaving you with this quote, and then I'm off. Good night.
"It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined." :)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Uh, hey.
How are you? How is your life?
I don't know. Whatever.
I don't feel particularly amazing. My day was amazing. But... I don't know, it died.
Tomorrow is my math exam. I'm not going to fail. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with a bunch of people... it'll be the best day of my life. Yeah. Wonderful. Amazing.
I most definitely do not feel all "kill the world"like.
I am going to study. I am not going to do other things that are counter productive.
Nope.
Study, maybe read for a bit, then sleep.
Wait no. Clean room, study, read for a bit, sleep.
Yeah.
What do you mean you don't feel particularly amazing, Mandy? Of course you do.
Today's amazing. Therefore, tonight is amazing.
This is the best week of your day, evening and night of your life.
But tomorrow will be even better.
Yes of course. Yes of course.
Dandelions? Sunshine?
Hey, an old friend of me just started talking to me.
Awesome.
I'm the happiest person alive. Kthxbai.
How are you? How is your life?
I don't know. Whatever.
I don't feel particularly amazing. My day was amazing. But... I don't know, it died.
Tomorrow is my math exam. I'm not going to fail. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with a bunch of people... it'll be the best day of my life. Yeah. Wonderful. Amazing.
I most definitely do not feel all "kill the world"like.
I am going to study. I am not going to do other things that are counter productive.
Nope.
Study, maybe read for a bit, then sleep.
Wait no. Clean room, study, read for a bit, sleep.
Yeah.
What do you mean you don't feel particularly amazing, Mandy? Of course you do.
Today's amazing. Therefore, tonight is amazing.
This is the best week of your day, evening and night of your life.
But tomorrow will be even better.
Yes of course. Yes of course.
Dandelions? Sunshine?
Hey, an old friend of me just started talking to me.
Awesome.
I'm the happiest person alive. Kthxbai.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
violent wrists, and then her ankles; silent pain.
Hello there.
It's been... five days, has it? I don't remember.
Not much has happened... I've unfortunately been studying lots, and I've written two out of three of my exams. I've also drank horrible coffee every morning, and deprived myself of sleep.
However, I am in fact still alive.
And, I've come to tell you, I really do enjoy exam week.
Going to school for an hour to write an easy peasy exam, then go and do whatever I want?
YES PLEASE.
Monday, I just kind of hung around with people for some time. It was really great. I legitimately talked to two new people. I then hung out with Nicole for a bit, then walked home and did a bunch of nothing. Way better than school!
Today after my Religion exam (stroll through the park, more like) I conversed with a bunch of people, watched four fire trucks visit the mental institute beside my school, then got a ride home with some of my brother's friends. Cool. I then acquired 300 new songs to my progressively glorious musical library. I'm currently at 1888 songs. I love music.
Tomorrow I don't have any exams, but I'm going to school anyway so I can go places afterwards. Awesome. Thursday is my last exam, then we're heading to a friends house for an "EFF YEAH NO MORE EXAMS AND POKEMON IS AWESOME" gathering.
Friday calls for a trip to Michigan.
Oh, life is good.
Semester two, shove it. I won't let you overwhelm my life just yet. ^__^
That said, I'd better scram. Bye.
ONELASTTHING: In regards to my previous post, drama class was just lovely. You know that boy I mentioned? Hmm. Well, I was supposed to pretend to cut his hair. But this time, it was Mandy's turn to get too close for comfort. :)
It's been... five days, has it? I don't remember.
Not much has happened... I've unfortunately been studying lots, and I've written two out of three of my exams. I've also drank horrible coffee every morning, and deprived myself of sleep.
However, I am in fact still alive.
And, I've come to tell you, I really do enjoy exam week.
Going to school for an hour to write an easy peasy exam, then go and do whatever I want?
YES PLEASE.
Monday, I just kind of hung around with people for some time. It was really great. I legitimately talked to two new people. I then hung out with Nicole for a bit, then walked home and did a bunch of nothing. Way better than school!
Today after my Religion exam (stroll through the park, more like) I conversed with a bunch of people, watched four fire trucks visit the mental institute beside my school, then got a ride home with some of my brother's friends. Cool. I then acquired 300 new songs to my progressively glorious musical library. I'm currently at 1888 songs. I love music.
Tomorrow I don't have any exams, but I'm going to school anyway so I can go places afterwards. Awesome. Thursday is my last exam, then we're heading to a friends house for an "EFF YEAH NO MORE EXAMS AND POKEMON IS AWESOME" gathering.
Friday calls for a trip to Michigan.
Oh, life is good.
Semester two, shove it. I won't let you overwhelm my life just yet. ^__^
That said, I'd better scram. Bye.
ONELASTTHING: In regards to my previous post, drama class was just lovely. You know that boy I mentioned? Hmm. Well, I was supposed to pretend to cut his hair. But this time, it was Mandy's turn to get too close for comfort. :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
my heart is caught in a landslide.
Hi. Today's the best day of my life. TOLDYOUSO.
Umm... my locker smelled like 4 day old coffee. GROSS. Probably because I kept coffee in there for four days... but it's okay, I'm borrowing some air freshener. My locker will smell like succulent meadows tomorrow.
Geography, go away. Whatever. Religion = nap time. Drama = go to the washroom for 15 minutes to hang out with other friends. Math = don't fail.
Ugggggh. There's this kid in my Drama class... he's my partner for my final presentation. Ugggh. He gets WAY too close and stares WAY too much. WAY TO MAKE THINGS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUD. But lucky me, I get to slap him across the face, stomp on his foot, kick him where it hurts, kick him again, put him in a headlock, bash his brains in, and then slaughter is ever red hair.
YEAH. DRAMA CLASS. FOR THE WIN.
(Let's ignore the part where he punches me x2, karate chops me, and strangles me x2. Yeah.)
I saw The Lovely Bones.
Goodnight.
Umm... my locker smelled like 4 day old coffee. GROSS. Probably because I kept coffee in there for four days... but it's okay, I'm borrowing some air freshener. My locker will smell like succulent meadows tomorrow.
Geography, go away. Whatever. Religion = nap time. Drama = go to the washroom for 15 minutes to hang out with other friends. Math = don't fail.
Ugggggh. There's this kid in my Drama class... he's my partner for my final presentation. Ugggh. He gets WAY too close and stares WAY too much. WAY TO MAKE THINGS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUD. But lucky me, I get to slap him across the face, stomp on his foot, kick him where it hurts, kick him again, put him in a headlock, bash his brains in, and then slaughter is ever red hair.
YEAH. DRAMA CLASS. FOR THE WIN.
(Let's ignore the part where he punches me x2, karate chops me, and strangles me x2. Yeah.)
I saw The Lovely Bones.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
i sit in the light to make the dark a little darker.
Uh, hey. I guess it's been a little while. I guess a lot has happened.
Hmm... last weekend I saw a movie with Rachel. Rachel's pretty amazing, in all honesty. Sunday I got a puppy. Well, we don't have him with us yet... he's too young for us to bring him home until the 14th. That's pretty exciting. Umm, this week has really been something. Needless to say, I didn't do too well with EQAO. Actually, I think I failed. But on the brightside, today I really reviewed all that math shit. I won't fail my exam? Yeah, anyway. Umm, today in Religion... I actually learned something. Not about hocus-pocus-all-you-need-is-God things... just a little bit more about perspective. More or less. Last night, I read something interesting too. Then I thought more about something a friend once told me. And... suddenly the past doesn't seem so haunting. The many mishaps of 2009 (there's a lot I failed to mention here), a deceased being, and a more recent... misanthropanic man, if you will... it all seems so far gone now. It's not far gone at all... it's pretty recent... but... I'm not dwelling. It's odd, moving on. I like it.
Fuck all, tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life. Really.
Aside from school, I have certain plans for tomorrow. Epic. I'm not sure what Friday consists of. Maybe nothing at all, which is fine. Saturday, I think I have a study date. x) Sunday... a tad bit of review for my Monday morning exam, and mostly just enjoying my day doing whatever. Yep. :) Monday I'm hanging out with a friend after our exams. FINALLY. Then a little bit of studying for my Religion exam on Tuesday. Wednesday, is free. No exams. So I'll just study lots for my math exam on Thursday, that I am going to pass. And then, there are plans for Thursday night glory. ^_____^
Things are good. Real good. Goodbye.
Hmm... last weekend I saw a movie with Rachel. Rachel's pretty amazing, in all honesty. Sunday I got a puppy. Well, we don't have him with us yet... he's too young for us to bring him home until the 14th. That's pretty exciting. Umm, this week has really been something. Needless to say, I didn't do too well with EQAO. Actually, I think I failed. But on the brightside, today I really reviewed all that math shit. I won't fail my exam? Yeah, anyway. Umm, today in Religion... I actually learned something. Not about hocus-pocus-all-you-need-is-God things... just a little bit more about perspective. More or less. Last night, I read something interesting too. Then I thought more about something a friend once told me. And... suddenly the past doesn't seem so haunting. The many mishaps of 2009 (there's a lot I failed to mention here), a deceased being, and a more recent... misanthropanic man, if you will... it all seems so far gone now. It's not far gone at all... it's pretty recent... but... I'm not dwelling. It's odd, moving on. I like it.
Fuck all, tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life. Really.
Aside from school, I have certain plans for tomorrow. Epic. I'm not sure what Friday consists of. Maybe nothing at all, which is fine. Saturday, I think I have a study date. x) Sunday... a tad bit of review for my Monday morning exam, and mostly just enjoying my day doing whatever. Yep. :) Monday I'm hanging out with a friend after our exams. FINALLY. Then a little bit of studying for my Religion exam on Tuesday. Wednesday, is free. No exams. So I'll just study lots for my math exam on Thursday, that I am going to pass. And then, there are plans for Thursday night glory. ^_____^
Things are good. Real good. Goodbye.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
and i'm losing sleep over this.
I don't know why I'm blogging right now. I have a lot to do tonight. :
On top of the things I was going to do tonight, I also intended on going to sleep by 11:15, and getting started on my Geography ISP that is due Friday. PROCRASTINATION. :
This is a really chaotic week. Yesterday and today, I've been dedicated to my Math ISP that I'm hoping will boost up my grade quite a bit.
Speaking of today, it was awful. I was pretty fucking down, to say the very least. The monsters from under my bed even came out to eat my toes this morning. Uh oh. But it's okay. At lunch, a friend introduced me to some new music, which I quite liked. :) That friend... he's really something. The wisdom in him is absolutely astounding. Of course, I'll struggle to find words to truly describe this. Moving on, I've got some great friends. Very great friends indeed. :)
Tomorrow through Thursday in Math is EQAO preparations. Spelling error? It's worth 10% of my mark, so I must do well. Also, I have papers and children to tend to. Thursday is more papers... and something else I'm forgetting. Hmm. Friday's are the best. The week after next is exams, which means next week and weekend, I think I'll drop my social life down a notch so I can focus on passing. Religion and Drama won't be a problem. It's Geography and Math that are going to guarantee frustration.
Enough education. Today I also learned something by a friend. It's truly shocking. We even have one major thing in common. I didn't think I had this in common with anyone. I was wrong. So very interesting.
ALRIGHT I HAVE THINGS TO DO BYE.
On top of the things I was going to do tonight, I also intended on going to sleep by 11:15, and getting started on my Geography ISP that is due Friday. PROCRASTINATION. :
This is a really chaotic week. Yesterday and today, I've been dedicated to my Math ISP that I'm hoping will boost up my grade quite a bit.
Speaking of today, it was awful. I was pretty fucking down, to say the very least. The monsters from under my bed even came out to eat my toes this morning. Uh oh. But it's okay. At lunch, a friend introduced me to some new music, which I quite liked. :) That friend... he's really something. The wisdom in him is absolutely astounding. Of course, I'll struggle to find words to truly describe this. Moving on, I've got some great friends. Very great friends indeed. :)
Tomorrow through Thursday in Math is EQAO preparations. Spelling error? It's worth 10% of my mark, so I must do well. Also, I have papers and children to tend to. Thursday is more papers... and something else I'm forgetting. Hmm. Friday's are the best. The week after next is exams, which means next week and weekend, I think I'll drop my social life down a notch so I can focus on passing. Religion and Drama won't be a problem. It's Geography and Math that are going to guarantee frustration.
Enough education. Today I also learned something by a friend. It's truly shocking. We even have one major thing in common. I didn't think I had this in common with anyone. I was wrong. So very interesting.
ALRIGHT I HAVE THINGS TO DO BYE.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
So, today is Sunday. Yuck. Math homework, followed by a math "test" tomorrow.
Yesterday? Well, it was okay.
I went to a show. Scummy venue, semi-decent bands, one really good band, I left before We Came As Romans were on. Big let down, seeing as I really wanted to see them.
I don't know. This weekend's been a let down.
Exams are coming up... I'm terrified.
Then semester two. ):
I have English, Science, French and Phys Ed. I hate three out of four of those, with a passion. But English will be good. I have an incredible teacher, and lunch with Emily. I'm kind of wishing, one again, that I'd have 4th lunch. But nope. Nevermind that.
Semester two is deadly. Upsetting. People are... leaving.
I guess I'd better make the most of it.
And I guess I should start homework too. Bye.
Yesterday? Well, it was okay.
I went to a show. Scummy venue, semi-decent bands, one really good band, I left before We Came As Romans were on. Big let down, seeing as I really wanted to see them.
I don't know. This weekend's been a let down.
Exams are coming up... I'm terrified.
Then semester two. ):
I have English, Science, French and Phys Ed. I hate three out of four of those, with a passion. But English will be good. I have an incredible teacher, and lunch with Emily. I'm kind of wishing, one again, that I'd have 4th lunch. But nope. Nevermind that.
Semester two is deadly. Upsetting. People are... leaving.
I guess I'd better make the most of it.
And I guess I should start homework too. Bye.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Revelations? Lately I've been really realizing things about people... it's different.
Today was not the best day of my life, just as suspected.
Well, it would've been a good day, if I weren't... myself? I can't find the words right now.
Basically, Geography was spent colouring pie graphs... the usual ipod and isolation for me, plus a movie I didn't watch. Religion was fine. Religion is always fine. Lunch... I don't like our commissioner very much. Drama was fine. We're doing miming. Whatever. And I still hate math. Good. So, I kind of just spent today in a slump. Then I didn't feel like going home, so I decided I would aimlessly wander Lameron. On my way there, I ran into someone. So I hung out with him around there for a while. He's a cool person. :) Uhh, then I walked home. Almost an hour, through snow halfway up to my knees with crappy shoes on. It was cold, but I'm not complaining.
WEEKEND; I like you. Kbye.
Today was not the best day of my life, just as suspected.
Well, it would've been a good day, if I weren't... myself? I can't find the words right now.
Basically, Geography was spent colouring pie graphs... the usual ipod and isolation for me, plus a movie I didn't watch. Religion was fine. Religion is always fine. Lunch... I don't like our commissioner very much. Drama was fine. We're doing miming. Whatever. And I still hate math. Good. So, I kind of just spent today in a slump. Then I didn't feel like going home, so I decided I would aimlessly wander Lameron. On my way there, I ran into someone. So I hung out with him around there for a while. He's a cool person. :) Uhh, then I walked home. Almost an hour, through snow halfway up to my knees with crappy shoes on. It was cold, but I'm not complaining.
WEEKEND; I like you. Kbye.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
i eat rat poison for dinner.
Hello.
My day hasn't been so good. And because I'm just so pessimistic, I'll post about it.
First, I actually woke up on time... only to fall back asleep till 6:30. Then, I realized I had a Geography test first period. I didn't study, and I didn't know what it was about until later. But anyway, I managed to get ready on time and get to school, blahblahblah. I was being loud and stupid, (I'm glad our hallway is always moderately empty.) as per usual. Then I found out my friend got arrested last night. Hahahah. I love that kid, I can always count on her to make things a tad more interesting. So, then I went to Geography. We had a subsitute who gave us 30 minutes to cram for the test. Did I mention I love substitutes? I love substitutes. I have a feeling I still failed to pass that test, but oh well. I was quite relieved when it was over, and went to Religion to find yet another substitute. Religion was okay today. Lunch was decent. Drama... drama was good. Even math was alright, despite the surprise quiz. Then whilst leaving, I got a surge of radness. Mandy's surges of radness are basically what you could call being hyper, except it's a lot better. So I wen't home all happy, did my homework and admired some art. Then I could hit by a... I want to say bombshell. Is that accurate? Basically, I found out some unfortunate new changes. What's with those? Why is my home situation gradually getting worse? Well, as long as it doesn't get lower than this, I'll survive. Anywho, tomorrow's Friday... Friday's are good, yes? I don't know if tomorrow will be good. For once, I'm not going to bother telling myself that tomorrow will be the best day of my life. Because it can't possibly be. But Saturday will be good. I'm going to a concert with a few friends. :) I'm determined to be a happy child on Saturday. So I will be, because Saturday will be the best day of my life. Kthxbai.
My day hasn't been so good. And because I'm just so pessimistic, I'll post about it.
First, I actually woke up on time... only to fall back asleep till 6:30. Then, I realized I had a Geography test first period. I didn't study, and I didn't know what it was about until later. But anyway, I managed to get ready on time and get to school, blahblahblah. I was being loud and stupid, (I'm glad our hallway is always moderately empty.) as per usual. Then I found out my friend got arrested last night. Hahahah. I love that kid, I can always count on her to make things a tad more interesting. So, then I went to Geography. We had a subsitute who gave us 30 minutes to cram for the test. Did I mention I love substitutes? I love substitutes. I have a feeling I still failed to pass that test, but oh well. I was quite relieved when it was over, and went to Religion to find yet another substitute. Religion was okay today. Lunch was decent. Drama... drama was good. Even math was alright, despite the surprise quiz. Then whilst leaving, I got a surge of radness. Mandy's surges of radness are basically what you could call being hyper, except it's a lot better. So I wen't home all happy, did my homework and admired some art. Then I could hit by a... I want to say bombshell. Is that accurate? Basically, I found out some unfortunate new changes. What's with those? Why is my home situation gradually getting worse? Well, as long as it doesn't get lower than this, I'll survive. Anywho, tomorrow's Friday... Friday's are good, yes? I don't know if tomorrow will be good. For once, I'm not going to bother telling myself that tomorrow will be the best day of my life. Because it can't possibly be. But Saturday will be good. I'm going to a concert with a few friends. :) I'm determined to be a happy child on Saturday. So I will be, because Saturday will be the best day of my life. Kthxbai.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
It just occurred to me; I'm ashamed of this blog. The reason why I ditched the LJ and started posting shizz here, is because my LJ was a mess. It was all horribley written, and basically just a book of explosive feelings. That is what this blog is slowly turning into. Oh shit. Now I'm realizing that... I am basically a book of explosive feelings.
Note to Mandy: CONTAIN YOURSELF. Your feelings are uninteresting, and you live in a world of robots. Bring on your fake smiles.
Thank you, and that is all.
Note to Mandy: CONTAIN YOURSELF. Your feelings are uninteresting, and you live in a world of robots. Bring on your fake smiles.
Thank you, and that is all.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
http://www.formspring.me/mandybenzedrine
Go wild.
-
You felt the coldness in my eyes; it's something I'm not revealing. Though you got used to my disguise, you can't shake this awful feeling. It's the me that I let you know, cause' I'll never show. I have my reasons. I hate to say that I told you so, but I told you so. There's blood on my hands like the blood in you. Some things can't be treated so, don't make me be myself around you. Straight from your eyes it's barely me. Beautifully so disfigured. This other side that you can't see, just praying you won't remember. Feel the pain that I never show, I hope you know, it's never healing.
Go wild.
-
You felt the coldness in my eyes; it's something I'm not revealing. Though you got used to my disguise, you can't shake this awful feeling. It's the me that I let you know, cause' I'll never show. I have my reasons. I hate to say that I told you so, but I told you so. There's blood on my hands like the blood in you. Some things can't be treated so, don't make me be myself around you. Straight from your eyes it's barely me. Beautifully so disfigured. This other side that you can't see, just praying you won't remember. Feel the pain that I never show, I hope you know, it's never healing.
Monday, January 4, 2010
PURPLE.
So picture this.
Over the past two weeks, I've been collecting insects. These insects are incredibly rare, especially at this given time. Everytime I found one, I put it in a jar. The jar I put them in is now dangerously full. The insects are wriggling about as much as they can, but there's so little space in the jar, they can barely breathe. Regardless, they all continue to squirm till no end. I can feel the jar is under much pressure. The insects are daring it to break. The insects think if they just keep squirming, they'll get out soon enough. And as this is happening, I'm still continuing to add to the collection. The jar is getting so full, it's starting to scare me. See, last time I collected insects was ages ago. I had some lady bugs in a container. Only four or so. I treated them well, putting fresh leaves, grass and dirt in their container every day and giving them plenty of air. Then, they died. So I left them dead outside my house. Later, I had a dream about the ladybugs. They grew to be awfully large, and they kind of... ganged up on me, if you want to say that. Ever since, insects have terrified me. I wouldn't have started collecting the current insects if they weren't so incredibly rare. Now, it's so obvious they want to be released to nature... but if I did that... well how do I know they wouldn't want to hurt me? Just as the lady bugs did? I know the two situations are pretty different. The ladybugs died. These new insects all continue to live. Unless of course, they die in the jar, but I don't see that happening soon.
So what now?
a) I release the insects; risking them being angry at me for keeping them so long, or they'll be pleased with me for finally letting them go.
b) Leave them in there. So what if they cause the jar to blow up? Well, there will be much feelings of loss, and I bet the insects would definitely gang up on me then.
BOTH OPTIONS ARE DIFFICULT. I can't risk a repeat of the ladybug incident. I don't even know if I could handle releasing the insects, because it could just remind me of those ladybugs too much. Damn them red little buggers.
That's all, goodbye.
P.S. I swear, this all makes complete and total sense. All teenagers ever do is worry about insects, right?
Over the past two weeks, I've been collecting insects. These insects are incredibly rare, especially at this given time. Everytime I found one, I put it in a jar. The jar I put them in is now dangerously full. The insects are wriggling about as much as they can, but there's so little space in the jar, they can barely breathe. Regardless, they all continue to squirm till no end. I can feel the jar is under much pressure. The insects are daring it to break. The insects think if they just keep squirming, they'll get out soon enough. And as this is happening, I'm still continuing to add to the collection. The jar is getting so full, it's starting to scare me. See, last time I collected insects was ages ago. I had some lady bugs in a container. Only four or so. I treated them well, putting fresh leaves, grass and dirt in their container every day and giving them plenty of air. Then, they died. So I left them dead outside my house. Later, I had a dream about the ladybugs. They grew to be awfully large, and they kind of... ganged up on me, if you want to say that. Ever since, insects have terrified me. I wouldn't have started collecting the current insects if they weren't so incredibly rare. Now, it's so obvious they want to be released to nature... but if I did that... well how do I know they wouldn't want to hurt me? Just as the lady bugs did? I know the two situations are pretty different. The ladybugs died. These new insects all continue to live. Unless of course, they die in the jar, but I don't see that happening soon.
So what now?
a) I release the insects; risking them being angry at me for keeping them so long, or they'll be pleased with me for finally letting them go.
b) Leave them in there. So what if they cause the jar to blow up? Well, there will be much feelings of loss, and I bet the insects would definitely gang up on me then.
BOTH OPTIONS ARE DIFFICULT. I can't risk a repeat of the ladybug incident. I don't even know if I could handle releasing the insects, because it could just remind me of those ladybugs too much. Damn them red little buggers.
That's all, goodbye.
P.S. I swear, this all makes complete and total sense. All teenagers ever do is worry about insects, right?
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