School sucks, I need to fix things.

CAN I BORROW A WRENCH, PLEASEANDTHANKS? :)

11:11, make a wishhh

So fucking sick of myself, and the way I look.

I CANNOT EVEN.

So, I guess I'll actually post about things. I don't know why, seeing as only two people read this, and one of them was there for some of this, and the other has already been personally filled in on, but whatever.

So Friday was Red Feather, as you know, and it was gross, and when everyone went to the game, I went to the mall with Friend-o. I purchased the comfiest sweater ever. Comfiest looks really weird, I bet it's actually comfyest. Comfyiest. Ew, no, that's all wrong. Yeah. I also bought another sweater. Whatever. Then I went to friend-o's house, with Boyfrand-o, and we rented a movie, Dead Silence, but it didn't work. Run on sentences and poorly constructed paragraphs, for the win.

So now I have a horror movie, sitting near me, and I should watch it, and it's due back Friday, so I guess I get to stay up on a school night and shit bricks all by myself. Hmmm. I don't know. What a waste of 5 dolla. This saddens me, a lot. ):

Anyway, we made... no, they made french toast... I supervised, in a hat. Then, I don't even know. What DID we do? Oh, right. I don't know, we hung out and stuff. Super cool. I went home.

Saturday, I slept in :3 Then hung out with Jared.
AMG I KNOW, GUISE. I ONLY HANG OUT WITH MY BOYFRAN, LIEK, WE SO IN LUV, AND I DITCHED ALL MY FRANDS FOR HIM. Loljk, go fist yourself.
We went for sometimes caffeinated beverages, then to see Easy A. I gotta say, I loved it. It was really enjoyable, and the main character is fucking gorgeous. Anyway.
Then we were driving around and stuff, and then not driving around and stuff, and then yeah, some cops came at 11:30, and I shat bricks then finally went home, feeling thoroughly uneasy with myself. Awesome. I went to sleep kind of early. :)

I woke up at 10:30, which was cool, I guess. Got ready, then I went to a dear friend in the sky's house, with another friend. And then her friend was there. And we all hung out, and I don't know, it was cool. Today's been tiring though. I didn't have the energy to be... energetic. Isn't shat such a crappy word? I don't like it. I came home and filled my evening with Mitchell Davis, because I don't want anything else right now, because I don't feel okay.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow, I am not well. I am dreading it with every ounce of my being. I haven't felt this crappy for a while. Things were actually going well, and now I'm uncomfortable and fmnskfwemn. But of course I'll put up with it, and show my face in that disgrace [ofabuilding]. That rhymes. Things will look up soon though, they always do.

Hnnnnnnnnnnnnf, I'm saying hnnnnf a lot now, out of context, but Idfc.

lifeeeeeee.

Stress and high duress

replace the hope I had every day.

I'm sick of growing up.
I'm sick of zero conclusions.
I'm sick of everything feeling wrong.
I'm sick of lying, and lies.
I'm sick of judgement.
I'm sick of thought.
I'm sick of not trusting anyone.
I'm sick of everysinglething being wrong.
I'm sick of the fact that majority of the people in my life are: stuck up, annoying, depressed or on drugs.

But honestly, I wouldn't ask for it any other way.

FUUUUUUUUUUU-
Tonight I had the cops called on me. Sew fun. It was uncomfortable, I was shaking, and shitting a few bricks.

But whatever, I'm gonna try to sleep now. Over it.

Tomorrow I'm seeing two of my favourite people, ever.

Also,
Fuck you, you stupid judgemental bitch.
If only you knew half as much as you pretend to.

Not actually mad, just been needing to say this. :}

Red Feather

is just a horrible excuse to parade around in your underwear.

My school is just about nothing more than a gathering of straight up whores. Future prostitutes. I promise you, this isn't a lie.

Today, was the most disgusting thing of my life. Women have never been so degraded. And people wonder why women have no rights? No respect?

They've brought this on themselves, fucking disgrace to the female population.
Today 80% of the girls in my school were wearing spandex short shorts (UNDERWEAR, BASICALLY. NOT EVEN SHORTS.) with their ass cheeks hanging out, and bandeaus, which, is basically a skimpy, stretchy piece of fabric that covers you almost less than a bra. Then, they paint all over their bodies in the school colours, black, red, and white. Some things, kind of spirited, like GO FLAMES, but mostly just names of classmates and potential wheel-ees, and words involving sexual innuendo.

Yeah, so walking through the halls, I was all SLUT, WHAT THE FUCK.
WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT?
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RAPED? ARE YOU REALLY THAT HORNY?
GROW THE FUCK UP.
DID YOUR PLAN EVEN WORK? DID YOU EVEN GET ANY?
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT TO, ALL THE BOYS WHO ACTUALLY GO TO THIS SHIT HAVE THE MATURITY OF A FIVE YEAR OLD. YOU'RE FUCKING GROSS.
I WANT TO TAKE SOME OF YOUR OWN FUCKING PAINT, AND PAINT SLUT ACROSS YOUR FOREHEAD.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL ARE.
BUT, YOU'RE PROUD OF THAT, SO WHATEVER.

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR STI'S AND ABORTIONS, YOU FUCKING MORONS.

nfjnfjekjreer

I'm glad you haven't noticed.
I'm glad I get to watch you sleep.
I'm sorry I don't feel like growing down.
I'm sorry we belong on opposite sides of the planet, or maybe, universe.
I like that we still talk.
I love that you still care.
I want the very best for you.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm sorry I am the way I am.
I like the distance.
I hate the curiosity.
I always want.
Please know, I'm always trying.

I can has frands

CAN HAS, CAN HAS

I can has frands in com tech, frands outside of STA, and frands in general.

Go, me.

I should post something with effort someday. But, I don't feel like it.

Nothing seems to turn out right,

something's got to turn out right.

Tell me, do you still feel this?

Attila, Chelsea Grin and Blind Witness.

Ohh myy. Best show I've ever been to. (in a smaller venue, anyway)

Attila was fucking ridiculous. I was actually in the pit a bit when they were playing, and it was just great. They really know how to perform.

I don't really feel like blogging about it, but I just needed to say, it was a really great night. c:

My Good Day. #200

It just hit me what a great day I'm having, and I don't feel like doing papers yet, so I'll just go ahead and procrastinate some more, and blog about it.

Last night I couldn't fall asleep till 12, which was weak. It's like a full moon. I'm trying to start attempting to sleep at 11pm on school nights, so I don't turn out like I was last year. (I.e. feeling crappy all the time, sleeping through all my classes and missing important lessons, sleeping more when I got home which would lead to an unproductive day, feeling so tired that I cancelled plans with friends more than any decent person should which led to a failing social life, which led to feeling even crappier, which led to a vicious cycle, and not being able to fall asleep until 6am, which is when I get up for school. Basically, it was bad.) So anyway, I was more tired than usual when I woke up (even when I go to sleep at 11, I only get almost 6 hours. I'm supposed to get at least 8. But still, better than 4 hours tops, and often 0 hours.) (So many brackets, it helps the procrastination.) and slept in 10 minutes. I like to have a morning routine, and sleeping in alters that. So, I went about my usual getting readyness, but I guess was a little speedier than usual, so I somehow managed to make time to make coffee this morning. Tiredness, be gone. It was a good, balanced morning. It was nice weather outside, too. My kind of nice. I got to my bus stop 8 minutes earlier than I was expecting it, which is good, because it came two minutes earlier than usual.

I got to school, and I was just so ready. I completed my math homework from last night, and I understood it. I made it to Religion class with socializing on the way, and still not being late. In Religion, we did simple look-up-things-in-the-bible things, and I worked by myself which in this case, wasn't socially frowned upon, while listening to NSN. Listening to NSN at school is a sign of a good day for me. I was late for Civics, but my teacher didn't say a word. I'm glad. He's normally a strong believer in being punctual. Anyway, civics was easy peasy. I actually find it pretty interesting, and my teacher is cool, in a weird, sarcastic way. I like people that have a dry sense of humour.

Lunch was different. I'm normally with Korrin, Kristin, Jared and I guess sometimes random people stop by. But Korrin didn't have lunch with us today, and Kristin fell off the face of the earth, so it was just Jared and I. I liked that. In a way, it's like despite seeing him everyday, I see less of him than I did over the summer, though we only hung out like, twice a week. As apposed to every Monday to Friday. We're not the same when other people are around. I don't feel like explaining this further on here, woo! Anyway, lunch was good.

Next I had Comm Tech. The first two days, I didn't like it that much. My teacher isn't the greatest, but today's class was good. He kind of just showed us some basic stuff, then we spent the period just kind of playing around with settings and stuff. It was fun, and interesting. I haven't lost all hope yet. CRAPITS9:30ANDPAPERSTAKESANHOUR. Whatever, I have to finish blogging.

I saw Nicole afterwards, and other people, and Nicole and I walked to Math together. SHESMAMATHBUDDY. Despite sitting on the other side of the room. It felt great, having a friend in a class. To walk there with, and make faces at during class. I haven't experienced that in high school yet, except for Phys Ed, which is different. Not your typical sit down and take notes class. Woooo, I'm a loser. :B Anyway, I understood everything in math class, and got my homework done in 15 minutes, during class! Go, me! Plus this one kid was sassing the teacher, and got sent to the VP. It was amusing. Applied tends to have more immature people. Often less kind people, too. But it's lively, I like it.

When I got home from school I played Halo with my brother for an hour and a half. I've never seriously played before, but I must say, I loved it. I'm not very good, but not too bad for a beginner. I just may have to play it more often. :B <-beaves.

I want to say more, but I must do papers. BYENOW.

Also, I don't have time to look this over. I apologize for spelling/grammar errors.

Day 10, one confession.
I confess I'm an idiot.

But you already knew that.

Oh, fucking hell.

Day 9: Two smileys that define your life right now.
1) :\
2) :NBCKJNBWDFJKRWE

I made up the second one, cause I'm reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally creative.

Gah, I'm ready to fall asleep, but I'm so scared.
Once I fall asleep, morning will creep up on me, FAST. And once morning is here, I'll have to wake up... and get ready... and go back. To school.
All the gravol, tea and stress pills in the world wouldn't make me feel okay with this.
I was optimistic about it earlier, but who am I kidding?
I remember what it's like to be there, in a new semester.
I didn't come home crying everyday for two, maybe three months in semester one for my own personal entertainment. And same goes for semester two.

I'm going to be alone. I'm going to be miserable.
I'll write the most upsetting things in my fresh new notebook.
Notebooks, hah.
I'll walk through the halls, and into my classes, and feel so uncomfortable. I feel like everyone's staring at me, everyone's hating me, everyone's whispering, everyone's... just ugh.
I'll sit at lunch with friends, but my smile isn't genuine.
Fucking hell, maybe I'm being overdramatic, and maybe this year has room for change.

After all, why the fuck should I care about what some fudgepacking asslamps think about me?
I have friends, and I have music that tells me to spit in their fucking faces.
PthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhT.

I think I'll manage.

I'm watching my cat sleep.

Day 8, Three Turns Ons. again, with personality stuff,
1) a sarcastic sense of humour
2) is fun to hang out with
3) honest and trustworthy

wooooooooooo.
Did I ever post about NYC? No, I don't think I did.
I also didn't post about my birthday.
I don't post about a lot of things.
Hmm.

Summer is very nearly over. I don't feel too good about this.
So I'll watch degrassi and not cry about it. Weeeeeeee.

I hate
you.

Day Seven: Four Turn Offs, wait, so can I just say four crappy qualities a person can have? Yeah. I'll do that.
1) Close mindedness
2) Lying
3) Severe lack of brain cells
4) Incapable of understanding sarcasm

I slept over at my friend's house last night. I haven't had a sleepover in 43545754 years. I pretty much threw fire at her. Hmm.