"What really helped was having mandy there being her funny self (:"

Aha, so i was reading something from last summer. someone else wrote that, of course, but it made me smile. It also made me kinda sad, because things aren't really like that anymore. But anyway, dearly beloved blogger, I think i'm gonna take this time to really reflect on my year.

soo, high school started out shitty. probably because I just came from an awful summer. it didn't make the machine run smoothly, y'know? cause there was a big, fat wrench stuck in the cog. even after i called in technical support, it was still a bumpy ride. I kinda lsot myself. Or changed. also, don't mind all the spelling/grammar errors. substance first, right? i learned that in engrish. also, are you diggin this font? i'm gonna change up my layout too. anyway, back to THE SUBSTANCE.

so, i met some people, and i drifted from some people. i blame myself though. friendship requires iniative. i was too wrapped up in my own world to notice this. badbadbad. now the year's over. i know the ropes of high school and stuff, so next year will be a bit better, because at least i won't have to adjust much. not sayin i'll make friends in grade 10, but whatever. i'm not there yet. there's still this summer.

yeah, this summer. the optimist in me thinks it'll be good. i'll get over my insecurities, strengthen friendships, and meet a few people. the pessimist in me thinks i don't have what it takes to do any of those. but i'm a realist, so i guess that puts me somehwere in between.

tomorrow, there's this big event going on. pride prom. it's a colourful shindig, particularly for homosexuals. I'm going with some friends from the GSA at my school, and I think it'll be really fun. hopefully, it'll make me a little less self conscious, and i can have fun. having fun is good, but i think i kinda forgot how to do it. not really FORGOT, but... i don't feel like explaining. anyway, it'll also be good seeing friends, because that should lead to more future hangouts. i've been needing a night of fun, this'll be good :)

thursday>states>newclothes>satisfactionguaranteed!
friday>sawmovies>lackofsleepguaranteed!
saturday>korrin'sparty>socializationmustbedone>endingverdictnotcertain

anyway, regarding the first sentence of this, normally, i'd be sad. but, cheesy as it is, at my grade 8 grad someone's quote was "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened". so i'm going to do just that.

See? Improvement. Well no, not yet. But this entry's been a bit of an attitude adjustment. Now I'm off to slooowly get ready for my brother's grad. I don't particularly enjoy ceremonies, but I'm not under it. I might post more reflective entries later, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing at all, really. (: It's good.