Oh, I'm back.
I have so much on my mind. I was gonna blog about the thoughts I was having during the flight home, and about everything I did in NYC, but now... I don't feel like it. Not tonight. Also, my phone keeps vibrating but it's not near me and I don't want to move and I really hope it's not Alexander texting me, because I feel like talking to him, and I'd feel bad if it was his texts I'm ignoring. Lazy, I know.

I have so much on my mind right now.
Going to NYC was so needed. Just to get the fuck out of London, even if for only a few days. I needed a break. I need a longer one, actually. FuckyouLondon. But whatever. However, I don't like my brother. He talks too much, and he makes fun of me, and he complains a lot, and he yells, and he gets annoyed, and oh my god I hate it when he yells, and it upsets me. I can't remember the last time I spent this much time with him. And I'm glad to be alone, sitting in a corner, with my laptop, and alone.
There's so much going on right now, I can't function. I want to puke. But no.
Umm. I have so many thoughts, fuck.

UGH. I WANT TO SHUT DOWN THE SYSTEM.

I'll do this instead:
10 Day Challenge.
Day 1: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1) I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.

2) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry every day.

3) I think you'll always be one of my favourite people, ever. Even in 30 years, when we're probably not in contact anymore.

4) I always want to talk to you.

5) You really fucked things over. Everything we have tends to suck a lot now. Good job. And the best part is, you don't even realize it. GOOD JOB.

6) You sicken me. You're one of the lowest lows. Your entire life is a fucking lie, what kind of human are you?

7) I aaam running OUT of words to saay to you.

8) Helpyhelpyhelpyhelpy. Pl0x.

9) )':

10) Sometimes, when I feel down, I picture just meeting you. It makes me smile.

Also, you know what I realized?
My biggest fear in the world: Anger.

Wooooooo.