sleep deprivation

I'm so tired. It's 2:41 AM and I have no intention of going to sleep, despite the fact that my insides are rotting away unhappily.

My hand is sore and paper is starting to throw me off, so I figured I'd take a blogging break. I've been doing a crapload of drawing, shading, adding colour and whatnot since about 11:30 pm. Don't tell me I'm a procrastinator, I was painting earlier on in the evening. Aykneeway, tomorrow I have an interview at the school I'm going to next year for their arts program. Hence why I'm up so late drawing; I need a portfolio and it's gotta be fucking nice. This is a bit of an issue because, clever me, I didn't take grade 9 art. So, this semester (and we're about 2-3 weeks in?) I'm taking a reachback class which crams grade 9 and 10 into one semester. This is the only real art experience I have, other than the dicking around with art that I've done on my own time. I'm not horrendous, but I'm not sure I'm impressive enough to be accepted. Everyone else who got in probably is well into their grade 10 art or they've already done it, with grade 9 shit on top. That, or they're a descendent of Picasso. This makes me want to say "fuck it, I'll take it next year". But no, I can't. I'm so determined. I want to be accepted. I want to do this. I do really enjoy art, but I can't help but think there's bigger reasons behind my determination. And as of 20 seconds ago, I've decided those reasons are not up for blogging about. So now I'll continue on with my drawing until 5:30 when I'll make myself a hearty breakfast, drown myself in coffee and prepare myself for the day. No complaints, no more breaks, no time to even think about how tired I am. Who cares that Monday night I slept for 45 minutes, Tuesday night I slept for 5. I can run off that, right? Yeah. I've got almost 3 hours left... I can maybe get 4 decent drawings out of that if I'm magical enough. And then I have 2 hours after school, as well as art class.

fnsdkjfdnkjndkgndkgjnr bye