Last night I had a ridiculously low night. It was the kind of night that doesn't creep along too often but when it does, it means business. I dealt with it though, one way or another, and kinda bonded with someone from my school. We ended up talking until 6am, having really good conversation about our own beliefs, hopes, disappointments, etc. It even got kind of philosophical. We have pretty different perspectives on some things which really carried the conversation nicely, and I was very impressed to learn he's quite the intelligent fella. I suppose I kind of misjudged him a bit ago when we first started talking. I hope we can stay friends. I need a few real friends at that school of mine.
Anyway, after that interesting night, I had a half hour nap and went to Jason's memorial mass. It was sad, I was braindead, and it made me miss him (and last summer) a lot, but it was... different. At first, it seemed as though no time had passed at all since his funeral in that same church last year. But I thought about it, socialized a tad with some of his friends and family... it was interesting (and comforting) to see how they've all been coping over the past year. Obviously the hurt is still there, he is still missed, but today was about celebrating him and learning to live without him and accept his death. It's still not fair, nor does it make sense that he was taken from us so early but now I understand some things just won't ever make sense. I'm super tired right now, so I can't elaborate a lot, but I really did learn about acceptance today, moving on, and holding old memories dear. Urrrg I'm too braindead to finish this thought. I'm just glad I knew Jason for the short time I did, overjoyed for all the lovely people who's lives he touched, and not going to forget him. He'll always be missed.
So Korrin and I hung out with aforementioned people for a while, then just us, which was decent. We haven't really hung out while sober for quite some time. It was nice just talking about whatever, as we ventured our way around the city. Later we met up with Justin and his friend Kurt for a bit which was cool. Not much to say about all that, just glad to be around beal people and not anxious for once.
Then I went to Jake's for a while. We were both in pretty shitty moods at first, but then we got talking and everything just kind of made sense after a bit. Obviously it's early, but I'm pretty happy with dat boy. I'm actually pretty decently comfortable around him, which I know I never was around any previous boys. He's seen me in my darker moods, crying and messy, and he's also seen me laughing hysterically at complete nonsense for 15 minutes when I've been overtired. I like that I can be either extreme of my own personality around him. I like being honest with him. But, yeah, we spent a few lazy hours together and it was a good way to end the day, especially with my being exhausted from everything and leaving tomorrow. I mean, not all our days are lazy, we do some cool shit sometimes, but yeah... everything's just really balanced and makes sense right now.
Strange thought, his mom invited me to her bridal shower. Like, whaaat. I've never been to a bridal shower. Apparently she really likes me, which is fucking awesome. She's easily one of the coolest parents I've ever met, all hip with the kids and their punk rock and stuff. Not many parents I've met have ever liked me enough to invite me to things. She kind of reminds me of Alexander's mom like that, who is another fabulous person.
And meow, I must wake up at 5am tomorrow to take 3 trains to Quebec City. I suppose I'll be arriving at 9pm. I'm really excited to get away from London for a week. I'm leaving things on a pretty good note and I hope everything remains this pleasant when I return next week. For once, I'm not anxious, or wanting to get out of london just for the sake of escaping my life. I'm really curious to see what comes of Quebec, feeling cautiously optimistic about it all. I'm tired and not sure if I'll be updating this while I'm gone, so... yeah, bye for meow blogger. Sorry the ~flow~ of this sucked. Oh well.
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