Controlled Fate (Villanelle)

Today I do not feel good, nor do I feel okay.
This day started out strange with a sudden gust of cold.
I never wanted this, begged to be any colour but grey.

All of these people try so hard to find the right things to say,
But words fall heavily to the ground, collecting mold.
Today I do not feel good, nor do I feel okay.

Everyday a war between acceptance and dismay.
I'm a worthy warrior but the struggle is getting old.
I never wanted this, begged to be any colour but grey.

It's not always so bad, occasionally beams a ray
of sunlight, but it's no match for anxiety's choke hold.
Today I do not feel good, nor do I feel okay.

Exits can't be considered though, knowing I must stay.
Hold on to the blissful idea of despair someday being controlled.
I never wanted this, begged to be any colour but grey.

Run quickly from it all and hole up in your hideaway.
Muster all your strength to not let the dark thoughts grab a hold.
But today I won't feel good, nor will I feel okay.
I swear I never wanted this. I begged to be any colour but grey.