I am once again blogging from my iPod because my laptop is broken. Again. Cool. Anyway, lots going on lately. Today was Jason's 21st birthday and also the 6th month mark since he died. A bunch of his friends, myself included, all went to palasad to celebrate in his honor. I'm really happy with how it went! I felt a bit awkward at first, but the last 2 hours or so, I didn't feel anxious at all and actually managed to socialize. It's so crazy for me, talking to people comfortably without feeling the need to be under the influence. I'm kind of proud, I guess. I've been thinking a lot about Jason lately and the impact his death has had on so many people. In a way, it's kind of made me realize that I should socialize more because life can be so incredibly short. I dunno. Plus I feel okay around these people because I know they're all great people. Jason only befriended great people, it seems. My thoughts go out to all his lovely friends and family, I can only imagine how they feel. In other news, I feel a bit optimistic right now. I finally have 4 people I could basically call friends at s c hool. Not close friends, but at least something familiar I can occasionally converse with when I see them ahool. I'm excited to be free from sewing and law, too. I hope this positive feeling can stay with me for a good while.

Latelyyy.
Today I applied at East Side Mario's... I have an interview next week "hollaaaah". I hate it when people say "holla" or whatever. Anyway, yeah. Who knows, maybe I'll finally actually get a job.

School is back, I've been really overwhelmed with photography class. I cannot wait for it to be over, pinhole cameras annoy the shit out of me. Sewing is crappy, just going through the motions every day. It's tiresome, but at least my teacher is interesting. Law consists of ISPs I have no initiative to write. Not at school, anyway. We work in a lab where douchebags usually sit on either side of me- douchebags who like to sit at their computer with the Beal homepage up for the entire class, while they stare out of the corner of their eye at my screen because they don't want to do work. I just read articles from the free press. It's relevant to my ISP, at least. Better than surfing tumblr... scary thought, surfing tumblr with douchebags staring at my screen would be an issue, considering all the nudity all up in my dash. Yeah, let's not test that...

I have figure drawing tomorrow! Finally. I haven't had that class in 3 or 4 weeks. But maybe I won't even have that class, because tomorrow's Beal's 100th birthday and there's all this shit going on and lack of classes and yeah.

ALSO I FINALLY MADE A FRIEND <3 She has stunning green eyes, grey and white hair, the sweetest smile ever, oh and a tail. Yeah, she's a cat I met today while I was spelunking downtown for photography class. The house she lives at is about a 10 minute walk from school and she absolutely adores me. I've decided to nickname her Fallon because it suits her and I don't know her real name. Come to think of it, I don't even know if she is actually a she. I can pretend though. So anyway, I've decided I'm going to visit her at least once every photography class (assuming I'm shooting) and maybe even bring her cat treats. And on the days when it's nice out but I have no one to hang out with at lunch, I might go see her then too. I don't care if that's lame, cats > humans.

I'm spending less lunches alone though. Korrin and Amber literally had to drag me to the church the other day, but I managed, and I even talked to someone new. I don't know. I'm more uncomfortable than ever around everyone else in the world though.

I think I'll stop blogging now while I'm still ahead. Or, above. Not quite depressing or something, YEAH. Okay, bye.

Today was a great day :)
My room is clean yet again, pretty soon I'll be putting art and other delightful stuff up on my walls and I might move some furniture around. This is good.
Today Rachel came over! I haven't legitimately hung out with her in probably about a year, so that was great. It felt exactly like old times and we agreed to hangout more, which is fantastic because I'd hate to lose one of my oldest friends.
Afterwards Emily and I went downtown and got pierced, always a delight.
Holidays are almost over and this makes me sad. I don't particularly want to go back to stupid classes like law, being around stupid people constantly, not sleeping, exams, etc.. but it's inevitable. Oh well.

2012 is off to a good start :)
I was at Korrin's last night with Emily, partying of course. We counted down, called a bunch of people, then went to sleep around 4. Except I couldn't sleep, so I listened to my ipod until 8am, attempted to clean up in the dark a bit, slept for 3 hours, then went home, where I had a really nice nap. Today's been really relaxing, and now tonight I'm going to do some productive things.

I figured out what my resolution is, but I'm not going to blog about it here. I want to keep it to myself. Anyway, yeah. That's 2012.

babblebabblebabblebabblebabble

I'm really happy latelyy.
I still have my moments, but just generally, things are pretty decent right now. Maybe it's just the time of year, and that I've been really busy lately.
All week I've had a ton of art to panic about, so I've been really focused. I've also actually been hanging out with people, babysat once, been going to the gym a lot, and fixing my sleeping patterns a bit.
Yesterday I went skating with Emily, Korrin, Kristin and Sally (a girl from my school). I was TERRIBLE and so was Emily. Korrin picked it up decently and Kristin was a boss, of course. I only managed to skate properly once, but then I was going too fast, didn't know how to stop and ended up on my side, half on the ice, half on the wood part. Derrrrrp, right in front of Sally and some random parents, and I felt like such a loser. Also I have a giant bruise. Yep, so not going skating again, ever.
Anyway, then Korrin, Sally and I went to a Shawarma place downtown and smoked sheesha. It was really weird, just sitting there in the middle of a restauranty place, smoking out of a giant hookah, though really nice too. The three of us sat there just smoking and chatting for a while and I really enjoyed it. Sheesha gives me a really nice feeling and it tastes great, though I'm not gonna make a habit out of it. Eventually Emily and Kristin joined us and we hung out there until we had to catch a bus home.
I felt a lot of anxiety, being around my closest friends and someone who I'd only talked to once or twice at school before. Sally's pretty awesome though, and hopefully she'll hang out with us more. I guess it's about time I make friends at Beal.
I have a lot of acquaintances but I don't really care for them and they barely notice I exist. The only other new person I consider close to a friend is in my art class. He's super nice and sometimes I hang out at lunch with him, just the two of us, if I can't find/don't care to see anyone I'm normally with at lunch.
Anyway. This week's gonna be busy.
Tomorrow I'm gift wrapping at the mall for volunteer hours with Emily, and then again on Friday. Wednesday I'm finishing my christmas shopping, Thursday I'm likely going to STA in the afternoon, and then ohhmygodChristmas on Sunday.

I'm excited for the holidays to start, so I can see more people, party, do art, and other stuff. :3

I just found out I have to go to my mom's boyfriend's parents house on Christmas.
Last year, I liked seeing them because they were some sad excuse for a family I barely even have. This year, I'm really not looking forward to it.
My mom shouldn't even be dating this guy. They've been on and off for literally 20 years, give or take a few, and it's only a matter of time before he turns into a jerk again and she feels like shit right up until the next time she has a boyfriend or gets back together with him. So no, I don't really feel like being around his family, especially on Christmas. Enough is enough.
Not to mention it's all adults there except for myself, my brother and his niece and nephew who are 6 and 9 or something like that. So the entire time, my brother and I are expected to spend time with those two kids. But this year, because Taylor's 19, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have to. Greeeeaaaaaat.

I'm trying to think positively about this and bring back my excessive Christmas cheer but just jkfnsdknfs.

This weekend's been really good.
I finally hung out with my bffl and his awesome boyfriend yesterday, and some other people, and saw rent and saw someone I hadn't seen in a reeeaaally long time and it was all really good and I was really happy.
Today was also great. We decorated my house, put the tree up, etc, then Emily and I went to Value Village. We bought ugly knitted sweaters for the upcoming Christmas party. Then we went to the mall, where we ran into Nigel and then into Korrin! Emily, Korrin and I hung out in walmart for a while, then bussed to Byron and it was just like things used to be, when the three of us hung out more often. It was so great, just being with my childhood best friends, all happy together and like nothing's changed.
Then we got to byron and I saw someone I don't want to see and it sucked and I feel like shit and the one person I would normally talk to right now can't talk and yeah.
Whatever, I need to not care. yep. okay. This is not going to ruin my fabulous feeling/start to December, because I'm not going to care, I'm just gonna listen to good music and work on my drawing of a decapitated child for design concepts.