notitle, notitle

Insomnia. Not even.
Some weak, mocking form of such.
Bright red numbers: 10:30, 11:27, 12:38, 2:03,
3 in the morning.
#@!%

Oh hello.
That last post? Haha...
Did I mention you have the incredible ability to make the sun shine?
Because you do. You really do.
Uhh. Things are decent again.
I had a wonderful afternoon.

I don't ever want to let these things fall away.

I don't see things looking up anytime soon, if at all. I just don't.

Lover Dearest,

This place is a hole, and I don't want to go. I wish we could stay here forever alone. This time that we waste, but I still love your taste. Don't let him take my place, don't just sit there.
Sometimes I wish you would leave me.
I'm not sick of you yet. Is this as good as it gets?
I'll just say it, or I could slip into you, it's so easy to come back into you. I stand for awhile, and waited for words. It seemed to not hurt and struggled to try. My tongue's turning black, but I'll take you back. You're still the best, more or less, I guess. ...I guess.
Don't you leave me. It hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay. And it might be alright if you go. It hurts me to say that I want you to stay, but it might be alright if you go. So leave me. I'll just try to hide it, or I could slip into you. It's so easy to come back into you.
Sometimes I think that the bitter in you, and the quitter in me is better than the both of us.

starved to death in a land of plenty?

i must confess; i'm in love with my own sins.

Urg.
I feel incredibly uneasy, in a way I can't describe.
Go gash out your insides, then weave some broken glass into a wetsuit. Put it on and roll around on the pavement for a bit, until you fall into the pool of alcohol. Follow these events with an eternity's worth of painkillers.
Inform me of your feelings, and I'll introduce them to mine.
...Not that I'm upset about anything, or troubled.
Everything is fine. Everything is great.
I think I know.

Today I hung out with Rachel. We're nerds. We watched Fight Club. Truly wonderful.
...People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.
I found out something funny as well.
There's some interesting rumours going around.
1) I'm a total stoner. 2) I did defamatory things with someone.
Yeah, go fuck yourselves, okay?

I want to go to sleep, but I can't.
I'm being submerged in obsessive thoughts that I'd prefer to be dismissive.
Literacy, I'm on my way...
Goodnight.

P.S. I hope you're all living happy, wholesome lives. :]

i'm right here, so come out and say it.

Helfuckinglo.
Be warned, I'm cursing a lot tonight.
Uhh, I don't remember yesterday.
Today was nice. I have acquaintances in drama now. Yay drama. (y)
Speaking of which, I'm supposed to be working on a poster for drama right now, but I'm not going to, because I don't care. I'll do it tomorrow during class and when I come home, OKAY!? Don't scold me, I've been busy today.
Oh, here's the highlight of my day- he walks over to me and says "Hello friend" and tries to hug me. I sidestep away from him. I forget what he said, but then he tried to hug me again. Then stupid me... "OHHH. Hey. Sorry." *hugs* followed by an awkward Mandy face. :P
I WASN'T BEING A MEANER, I THOUGHT HE WAS TRYING TO TALK TO SOMEONE BEHIND ME.
Hahahha, EPIC FAIL. :D Oh well.
^That wasn't even toooo fail. Know what that means? I'M getting less fail. :)
I wasn't pretty non-travestylike today, actually. I'm proud.
Oh, here's some bad news.
My friend got kicked out of her house. D:
This is the third time in two months that I've had a friend get kicked out of their house, and the second time I've had a friend wandering the streets in the evening, not knowing where they're going to sleep, and not really having anywhere go.
Fucking sucks. I'm so incredibly thankful that I live in a secure household, with loving, secure people. I'm so glad that majority of my friends don't have this problem. I would so hate to be stuck in such a situation.

So I just did some math homework. Read my conversation with my math homework?
*reads question 15* Draw a diagram to find... YOU KNOW WHAT, MATH!? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE. I'M SKIPPING YOU. LEAVE ME ALONEEE.
Out loud, as well. Aren't I great?

Kay, I need some sleep. Dying isn't fun.

Dream of fucking cannibals, okay?
Night.

Oh how wrong was I?
Today has been quite the extraordinary day, really.
After my post of negativity, I talked to Rachel. It's nice letting things out.
Then I got ready. I wore the clothes I wouldn't normally. My hair looked just the way I wanted it. I went outside and took a picture of the glorious weather we have today. I then decided I could use a new book.
From there, I set off on my leisurely walk into town. My ipod died on me half way, but I really didn't mind. I got to the library in decent time and searched high and low for a book to strike my interest. And aha! I found one. I won't tell you the title, however I feel I'll be able to relate to it very well with some aspects.
I took that out, and payed off my mere fine (oops, due dates.) and decided to go to The Little Red Rooster. (Roster? I don't remember.) I ordered a tea, not really knowing why, or if it would even taste good. I can't even remember what type of tea it was. However, I took a sip and fell in love. It was absolutely incredible. I shall be drinking much more tea in the near future.
I then headed home; tea in hand, book in panda.
I thought, and thought, and thought. I pondered many thoughts. Here are just a few of them:
I thought about how much happier I am now. I took note of my sudden posture improvement. I felt thankful for the fact that my mind and body are not tainted with obscure substances and considerably dangerous beverages. I took in every detail of my neighbourhood. The trees, still considerably lacking, but so beautiful; the welcoming breeze; the many shades in the sky.

There are no words. Goodbye.

my head's in heaven, my soles are in hell...

Snore. Today is quite boring.
I'm feeling pretty disonnant. I don't know if that spelling is correct, and it's bugging me, but I don't feel like looking it up.
I feel this way because... well I don't want to talk directly about it.
Let's see...
Nope. I can't find any non-obvious way to talk about this. Apparently, I'm out of practice.
Oh well. Fall Out Boy and hardcore shit playing loudly tends to make this a lot better.
Anyway, I can't find any friends today, so I'm kind of just alone.
I think I'll walk around today, and maybe watch a movie with my mother later.
Yeah. That sounds fine.
Maybe I'll catch a movie with some people tomorrow...

My mind's wandering. Bye.