Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
So, I guess I'll write a letter after all. Day 6. I hope this sounds creepy.
Dear Stranger,
You're not really a stranger. Not to me. I've payed close attention to you for four years now. I used to check your myspace everyday. I'd leave you a comment about how amazing I think you are and how much I wish you would visit me. Acknowledge me. Reply to my comment. Anything. Please. You never did leave me a comment back. You say you read ALL your comments. If you do, why didn't you ever acknowledge mine? No, it's okay, I understand, you're busy. I love you regardlessly. You make me happy. You make me feel okay. You've helped me, more times than I can count. And once, I actually did get through. You visited me. We met. We shook hands. I didn't say much, because I was in awe. I doubt you remember me. I'd shit bricks if you did. You meet thousands of Mandys all the time. I guess you are a stranger, because I don't deeply know you. I don't know you any more than what you blog about, and include in your videos... and music. And you certainly don't know me. Maybe a bit, because of the comments I used to leave you. Isn't it funny though? How much you've impacted my life, and you don't even know it? Have I impacted your lives? Maybe. A tiny bit. Not in a memorable way, but that's okay. Anyway, I'm glad you exist.
You're my favourite strangers. -Mandy
Dear Stranger,
You're not really a stranger. Not to me. I've payed close attention to you for four years now. I used to check your myspace everyday. I'd leave you a comment about how amazing I think you are and how much I wish you would visit me. Acknowledge me. Reply to my comment. Anything. Please. You never did leave me a comment back. You say you read ALL your comments. If you do, why didn't you ever acknowledge mine? No, it's okay, I understand, you're busy. I love you regardlessly. You make me happy. You make me feel okay. You've helped me, more times than I can count. And once, I actually did get through. You visited me. We met. We shook hands. I didn't say much, because I was in awe. I doubt you remember me. I'd shit bricks if you did. You meet thousands of Mandys all the time. I guess you are a stranger, because I don't deeply know you. I don't know you any more than what you blog about, and include in your videos... and music. And you certainly don't know me. Maybe a bit, because of the comments I used to leave you. Isn't it funny though? How much you've impacted my life, and you don't even know it? Have I impacted your lives? Maybe. A tiny bit. Not in a memorable way, but that's okay. Anyway, I'm glad you exist.
You're my favourite strangers. -Mandy
Friday, July 9, 2010
The best day of my life so far.
My Day 6 (?) letter will be up in a bit. ANYWAY, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT TODAY.
So, I woke up after two and a half hours of sleep, got ready, then Emily picked me up. We then went to Jared's, to get him and his friend Scott. Then, began the drive to Toronto. Emily and I didn't really know Scott, but it was surprisingly not too awkward, and he turned out to be a pretty cool person.
Also, I just realized I reak of weed. Awesome.
Anyway, eventually we go to FUCKING WARPED TOUR. It was raining, and the line up seemed endless. So, we waited in line to be allowed in. While we waited in line, I felt kind of anxious. Warped Tour is a breeding ground for scene kids, not even kidding. At least 3/4s of the people there were either reeaally brutal, or scene. Eventually, we got in, just a tad too damp, but who cares, right? We bought a schedule and went over to one of the five (?) stages. Parkway Drive was playing there last song which was good, but we weren't close to the stage at all. Then, Attack Attack! came out. They were incredible! And we were in the pit, so it was tons of fun, although pretty painful.
Also, think of Warped Tour as the Western Fair, except there's five stages and big spaces for crowds, and a crapload of booths. And it's fucking awesome. Bands are playing at almost all the stages at all times. Yes, there's A LOT of bands.
After Attack Attack!, Whitechapel came out. They're so fucking brutal. I kept a safe distance from the pit to avoid getting my bones shattered. Seriously, it's hardcore stuff. Scott was in the pit for every band. I don't know how he didn't die, though he did take a pretty bad blow to the face. After Whitechapel was Suicide Silence (also incredibly brutal), still at the same stage. After that, we weren't too interested in the other bands, so we walked around a bit, looking at booths and stuff. Actually, my memory is a bit hazy with the order, but I think I'm doing okay so far :P So, after that, we saw Enter Shikari at a different stage. They put on an INCREDIBLE live show. Jared and Scott were in the pit, so Emily and I lingered near, enjoying the show, went to the washroom, then came back for the last two songs. They were sooo good. After that, we kind of just sat for a bit, because they were dead from moshing. Then we went booth lurking some more. Scott went to see Bring Me The Horizon, while the three of us continued walking around. I went to the booth for Confide, a fabulous band, and bought a bracelet. It's black and says recover. I like it quite a bit. Anyway, right as we were heading away from the booth, Emily says
"OH MY GOD THE GUY FROM ATTACK ATTACK WAS RIGHT BESIDE ME AT THAT BOOTH"
So I look over, and he's still there! Emily and I LOVE Attack Attack, so we were pretty excited. We said hi and got pictures with him, the lead singer. It was fucking awesome, meeting someone who's such a big deal to us. After bands finish playing, they normally go to their own booth and sign and do meet and greets. However, the line ups for those can take hoourrs, and you miss a lot of bands, so we didn't do that. BUT WE MET HIM ANYWAY. It was sooo great. We continued to booth lurk, met the other singer in Attack Attack and got pictures with him, sat for a bit, and then met and got a picture with the lead singer of Breathe Carolina. Then, oh geez...
So, I told you about Suicide Silence, yes? Well, they're lead singer is A FUCKING BRUTAL FACEFUCK, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! And he was just biking around the area we were sitting at, then was talking to some people. Some girls got pictures with him (it took many requests and he wasn't too enthused at all), so we waited to talk to him. We waited for 15 minutes, and it was completely obvious that we wanted to talk to him. He pretended we weren't even there! But finally, he kind of pointed and acknowledged me, so I said "Hey, can-" THEN HE BIKED AWAY, LICKITY SPLIT. It's possible he was acknowledging someone behind us. But still, it was kind of rude. He wouldn't take 30 seconds to say to some fans who payed 60 bucks to see him. Awesome. :/
But oh well, I got over it :P So then we went back to a booth and I bought a versaemerge shirt that is most likely too big. But that's okay. Oh, versaemerge. They're one of my favourite bands right now, but they're not very brutal. Emily doesn't like them too much, and I'm almost certain Jared and Scott would greatly dislike them, so I didn't have anyone to see them with ): I figured I'd miss them completely, but guess what, I didn't! We went over to see Nevershoutnever, and we got there early to be close to the stage, and at the stage right beside where he was supposed to play, Versaemerge was on! So I saw their last two (or was it three?) songs, and was quite pleased. I love them.
So then we saw Nevershoutnever. WHAT A CHARACTER! He's so talented, and has remarkable stage prescence (ICANTSPELL). Also, he's an bottomless well of love. His songs were all about loving each other, and how amazing people are, and he said a billion times how much he loves us, and he's the kind of guy that... well, when he says it, you believe it. He's sooo fabulous, I almost cried when he played What Is Love?. Anyway, after him, we were done. There weren't any other bands we cared to see too much, so we began to leave. While we were leaving, I saw versaemerge doing a meet and greet. The line didn't look too bad, but I didn't want to keep the other three sticking around to meet a band they don't care for. So, that was a bit saddening, but that's okay.
BECAUSE TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This entry doesn't do it justice. And actually, I think I'll do the day 6 thing tomorrow. And day 7 as well. Bye now.
So, I woke up after two and a half hours of sleep, got ready, then Emily picked me up. We then went to Jared's, to get him and his friend Scott. Then, began the drive to Toronto. Emily and I didn't really know Scott, but it was surprisingly not too awkward, and he turned out to be a pretty cool person.
Also, I just realized I reak of weed. Awesome.
Anyway, eventually we go to FUCKING WARPED TOUR. It was raining, and the line up seemed endless. So, we waited in line to be allowed in. While we waited in line, I felt kind of anxious. Warped Tour is a breeding ground for scene kids, not even kidding. At least 3/4s of the people there were either reeaally brutal, or scene. Eventually, we got in, just a tad too damp, but who cares, right? We bought a schedule and went over to one of the five (?) stages. Parkway Drive was playing there last song which was good, but we weren't close to the stage at all. Then, Attack Attack! came out. They were incredible! And we were in the pit, so it was tons of fun, although pretty painful.
Also, think of Warped Tour as the Western Fair, except there's five stages and big spaces for crowds, and a crapload of booths. And it's fucking awesome. Bands are playing at almost all the stages at all times. Yes, there's A LOT of bands.
After Attack Attack!, Whitechapel came out. They're so fucking brutal. I kept a safe distance from the pit to avoid getting my bones shattered. Seriously, it's hardcore stuff. Scott was in the pit for every band. I don't know how he didn't die, though he did take a pretty bad blow to the face. After Whitechapel was Suicide Silence (also incredibly brutal), still at the same stage. After that, we weren't too interested in the other bands, so we walked around a bit, looking at booths and stuff. Actually, my memory is a bit hazy with the order, but I think I'm doing okay so far :P So, after that, we saw Enter Shikari at a different stage. They put on an INCREDIBLE live show. Jared and Scott were in the pit, so Emily and I lingered near, enjoying the show, went to the washroom, then came back for the last two songs. They were sooo good. After that, we kind of just sat for a bit, because they were dead from moshing. Then we went booth lurking some more. Scott went to see Bring Me The Horizon, while the three of us continued walking around. I went to the booth for Confide, a fabulous band, and bought a bracelet. It's black and says recover. I like it quite a bit. Anyway, right as we were heading away from the booth, Emily says
"OH MY GOD THE GUY FROM ATTACK ATTACK WAS RIGHT BESIDE ME AT THAT BOOTH"
So I look over, and he's still there! Emily and I LOVE Attack Attack, so we were pretty excited. We said hi and got pictures with him, the lead singer. It was fucking awesome, meeting someone who's such a big deal to us. After bands finish playing, they normally go to their own booth and sign and do meet and greets. However, the line ups for those can take hoourrs, and you miss a lot of bands, so we didn't do that. BUT WE MET HIM ANYWAY. It was sooo great. We continued to booth lurk, met the other singer in Attack Attack and got pictures with him, sat for a bit, and then met and got a picture with the lead singer of Breathe Carolina. Then, oh geez...
So, I told you about Suicide Silence, yes? Well, they're lead singer is A FUCKING BRUTAL FACEFUCK, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! And he was just biking around the area we were sitting at, then was talking to some people. Some girls got pictures with him (it took many requests and he wasn't too enthused at all), so we waited to talk to him. We waited for 15 minutes, and it was completely obvious that we wanted to talk to him. He pretended we weren't even there! But finally, he kind of pointed and acknowledged me, so I said "Hey, can-" THEN HE BIKED AWAY, LICKITY SPLIT. It's possible he was acknowledging someone behind us. But still, it was kind of rude. He wouldn't take 30 seconds to say to some fans who payed 60 bucks to see him. Awesome. :/
But oh well, I got over it :P So then we went back to a booth and I bought a versaemerge shirt that is most likely too big. But that's okay. Oh, versaemerge. They're one of my favourite bands right now, but they're not very brutal. Emily doesn't like them too much, and I'm almost certain Jared and Scott would greatly dislike them, so I didn't have anyone to see them with ): I figured I'd miss them completely, but guess what, I didn't! We went over to see Nevershoutnever, and we got there early to be close to the stage, and at the stage right beside where he was supposed to play, Versaemerge was on! So I saw their last two (or was it three?) songs, and was quite pleased. I love them.
So then we saw Nevershoutnever. WHAT A CHARACTER! He's so talented, and has remarkable stage prescence (ICANTSPELL). Also, he's an bottomless well of love. His songs were all about loving each other, and how amazing people are, and he said a billion times how much he loves us, and he's the kind of guy that... well, when he says it, you believe it. He's sooo fabulous, I almost cried when he played What Is Love?. Anyway, after him, we were done. There weren't any other bands we cared to see too much, so we began to leave. While we were leaving, I saw versaemerge doing a meet and greet. The line didn't look too bad, but I didn't want to keep the other three sticking around to meet a band they don't care for. So, that was a bit saddening, but that's okay.
BECAUSE TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This entry doesn't do it justice. And actually, I think I'll do the day 6 thing tomorrow. And day 7 as well. Bye now.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Silly me...
Who better to talk to about "stuff" than the person that the "stuff" involves?
I think I'm okay now.
Yeah. :D
I'm ready for Warped Tour. Sure, I'll be running on 4 hours of sleep, but that aside, I'M READY.
No lie.
*happy sigh*
:)
I always tell myself to shove back my anxieties and have a good time, loser.
I think that's a pretty decent thing to tell myself. xD Golden star work, I'd say.
KBYE
I think I'm okay now.
Yeah. :D
I'm ready for Warped Tour. Sure, I'll be running on 4 hours of sleep, but that aside, I'M READY.
No lie.
*happy sigh*
:)
I always tell myself to shove back my anxieties and have a good time, loser.
I think that's a pretty decent thing to tell myself. xD Golden star work, I'd say.
KBYE
Day 5
Dear Dreams,
You're not very interesting and just plain weird. Kind of stupid too. Some nights, you have your moments, but they're not that often. Can't you kick it up a notch? Be more entertaining like Emily's dreams? Be of some importance? No, I suppose you can't. It's my dream, what I dream about is up to me, right?
Funny how that sounds like a representation of my personality.
-Mandy
So, I continue to feel like shit. I wouldn't have felt like shit last night and today if I had actually had that conversation I hoped for the other day. I'm sure of it. And even if I'm not sure of it, I'll blame it on that.
Tomorrow's Warped Tour. I'm going with three people who are incredibly excited for it. I'm too busy feeling like shit, and feeling kind of anxious to really be excited. But if anyone asks, I'm so excited that my brain swelled up and is currently gushing out of my ears.
Whatever, I'll get over it.
I always get over it, don't I?
I'll get to sleep before 12 tonight, and tomorrow during the car ride there, I'll write really motivational letters to myself. I'll fake my happiness so much that I start to believe it. And then I will believe it. I always do that.
Kgreat, glad we established that.
Fuckyou.
-Mandy
P.S. About 90% of the time when I say "you", I'm not referring to whoever's reading this. When I blog, I pretend that I'm saying all this to a real human. Not a specific human though. Not even one that I know. Just thought I'd clear that up.
Dear Dreams,
You're not very interesting and just plain weird. Kind of stupid too. Some nights, you have your moments, but they're not that often. Can't you kick it up a notch? Be more entertaining like Emily's dreams? Be of some importance? No, I suppose you can't. It's my dream, what I dream about is up to me, right?
Funny how that sounds like a representation of my personality.
-Mandy
So, I continue to feel like shit. I wouldn't have felt like shit last night and today if I had actually had that conversation I hoped for the other day. I'm sure of it. And even if I'm not sure of it, I'll blame it on that.
Tomorrow's Warped Tour. I'm going with three people who are incredibly excited for it. I'm too busy feeling like shit, and feeling kind of anxious to really be excited. But if anyone asks, I'm so excited that my brain swelled up and is currently gushing out of my ears.
Whatever, I'll get over it.
I always get over it, don't I?
I'll get to sleep before 12 tonight, and tomorrow during the car ride there, I'll write really motivational letters to myself. I'll fake my happiness so much that I start to believe it. And then I will believe it. I always do that.
Kgreat, glad we established that.
Fuckyou.
-Mandy
P.S. About 90% of the time when I say "you", I'm not referring to whoever's reading this. When I blog, I pretend that I'm saying all this to a real human. Not a specific human though. Not even one that I know. Just thought I'd clear that up.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
hardcore fucking cookies!
Hey there blog, I'll be writing about my brother shortly, but first I gotta talk about my day.
So in the afternoon, I went over to a friend's house. We watched soccer then made hardcore cookies. Okay, they weren't that hardcore... but whatever. Then we saw a movie. Afterwards, we walked back to my house. I must say, I was let down. See, whenever my friend hangs out with another certain friend, she turns in to a cocky, heartless wench. Well, no, she's not as bad as I'm probably making her out to be. I still luhh her and all. But anyway, it sucks a bit. I wanted to talk about stuff, because we used to always have really good conversations walking home. I cherished those walks, y'know? But she doesn't care about much, so I figured it'd be stupid to bring it up. Err, it just... I don't know, it didn't feel like a good time to talk about it anymore. So now I've got these thoughts in my head, and I want to talk about them. But... well, when she went home, I sat in a gazeebo (pardon the possible spelling error) by my house and thought for a bit. I realized that my three best female friends... well, they're not there so much anymore. The one friend, she's not quite the same, so I don't really want to talk to her about it. It's not really something I would talk to her about anyway. My other friend, I don't see very much. I used to walk home with her too, or walk around in general, and we'd have really good conversations. But now whenever I hang out with her, it's never just us, so those conversations are so unlikely. And my other friend... she's not a big part of my life anymore. We drifted. It hurts. It's not like we're enemies or anything, we're far from that... but, y'know. And, although I do have another bffl, a great bffl actually, I don't know if I want to talk to him about something like that. We've never really talked about something like this before. I don't know. I guess there's other friends I could try talking to too, but I'm scared. That means letting more people in. I'M SO SCARED. I hate bringing things up. I'm such a private person. But, while I was thinking in the gazeebo, a wave of sadness hit me over this. I need my friends back ): ):
I NEED TO CHANGE THE TOPIC NOW, OTHERWISE I'LL CRY AND IT'LL SUCK.
Anyway, here goes that letter to my brother, lalalahjfnsdkjnfsk,
DAY 4.
Dear Taylor,
You're fucking awesome. I couldn't ask for a better brother. I guess some people don't like you, but I think you're great. Apparently you talk too much, but I'm glad you do. It evens things out. When we go to family things, you do a lot of the talking, and kind of encourage me to talk too. I certainly couldn't survive those gatherings without you. Also, you have pretty decent taste in music, and you're fashionably aware as well. It's pretty great, if I'm not sure about what I'm wearing, I can ask you if it looks alright. You normally say it does too, which makes feel better about myself. Also, you get my sense of humour! And you encourage me to socialize with your friends! You have some great friends. Although we get along pretty badly in the morning, that's okay. We're just not morning people. I know it doesn't seem like I appreciate you too much, but I really do. I'm so glad you're my brother :D
-Mandy
Okay, writing that letter helped me feel better. But I'm probably in for a rough night. Awesome. Whatever, I knew things were going too well lately. I need a little bit of sorrow to even things out, right? Right? Yeah. :)
Bye.
So in the afternoon, I went over to a friend's house. We watched soccer then made hardcore cookies. Okay, they weren't that hardcore... but whatever. Then we saw a movie. Afterwards, we walked back to my house. I must say, I was let down. See, whenever my friend hangs out with another certain friend, she turns in to a cocky, heartless wench. Well, no, she's not as bad as I'm probably making her out to be. I still luhh her and all. But anyway, it sucks a bit. I wanted to talk about stuff, because we used to always have really good conversations walking home. I cherished those walks, y'know? But she doesn't care about much, so I figured it'd be stupid to bring it up. Err, it just... I don't know, it didn't feel like a good time to talk about it anymore. So now I've got these thoughts in my head, and I want to talk about them. But... well, when she went home, I sat in a gazeebo (pardon the possible spelling error) by my house and thought for a bit. I realized that my three best female friends... well, they're not there so much anymore. The one friend, she's not quite the same, so I don't really want to talk to her about it. It's not really something I would talk to her about anyway. My other friend, I don't see very much. I used to walk home with her too, or walk around in general, and we'd have really good conversations. But now whenever I hang out with her, it's never just us, so those conversations are so unlikely. And my other friend... she's not a big part of my life anymore. We drifted. It hurts. It's not like we're enemies or anything, we're far from that... but, y'know. And, although I do have another bffl, a great bffl actually, I don't know if I want to talk to him about something like that. We've never really talked about something like this before. I don't know. I guess there's other friends I could try talking to too, but I'm scared. That means letting more people in. I'M SO SCARED. I hate bringing things up. I'm such a private person. But, while I was thinking in the gazeebo, a wave of sadness hit me over this. I need my friends back ): ):
I NEED TO CHANGE THE TOPIC NOW, OTHERWISE I'LL CRY AND IT'LL SUCK.
Anyway, here goes that letter to my brother, lalalahjfnsdkjnfsk,
DAY 4.
Dear Taylor,
You're fucking awesome. I couldn't ask for a better brother. I guess some people don't like you, but I think you're great. Apparently you talk too much, but I'm glad you do. It evens things out. When we go to family things, you do a lot of the talking, and kind of encourage me to talk too. I certainly couldn't survive those gatherings without you. Also, you have pretty decent taste in music, and you're fashionably aware as well. It's pretty great, if I'm not sure about what I'm wearing, I can ask you if it looks alright. You normally say it does too, which makes feel better about myself. Also, you get my sense of humour! And you encourage me to socialize with your friends! You have some great friends. Although we get along pretty badly in the morning, that's okay. We're just not morning people. I know it doesn't seem like I appreciate you too much, but I really do. I'm so glad you're my brother :D
-Mandy
Okay, writing that letter helped me feel better. But I'm probably in for a rough night. Awesome. Whatever, I knew things were going too well lately. I need a little bit of sorrow to even things out, right? Right? Yeah. :)
Bye.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
the new is in, the new is in.
Hey. So I've decided I won't skip any of the days, because that's weak. For me, anyway.
So first thing's first, today> it was pretty great. I just got back from seeing Toy Story 3. Oh my god, it was so good. It was intense, kind of funny, terribly upsetting, and incredibly happy. It was beeeaaaautiful :3
Now here goes the letters. DAY THREE.
Dear Mom,
I love you. I honestly couldn't ask for a better mother. You've raised me well, and you did it on your own too. You're a real hero. Sometimes, it's true, I feel a bit smothered, but I think that's the way it should be. I'd hate it if you were too slack, because then I'd run wild and expect everything to be handed to me. And you're still pretty easy going with things. I have the freedom I need, taking it all step by step, and I especially love how accepting you are. You encourage creativity and individuality. I'm sure I've let you down before, but believe me, I do try not to. I remember somewhere between grade 3 and 6, you fixed a barbeque and called yourself super mom, because that is typically "a man's job". I agree. You ARE supermom. I've learned how to stand on my own two feet because of you. You really do inspire me, and I'm so glad I've been able to spend my first almost 15 years with you. I honestly don't know what I would do without you, and I hope we always stay as close as we are now for years and years and years. I love you, Mama :3
Dear Father,
This is really difficult to write. You passed away when I was less than a year old. I guess some people could argue that you don't mean anything to me. For my own self, I think they're wrong. You gave me life. So much of me, comes directly from you. But, you're gone. I think about you a lot. I compare myself to my mother, and I always wonder if the traits she lacks, you had. But I'll never know. I hate thinking about you because I can never EVER reach a conclusion of any sort. It also upsets me how you left this world. You were far too young, and your death was unfair. Drunk driving. So cruel. That's affected me a lot too. As I'm getting older, I'm seeing alcohol and drugs around me more and more. Father, did you know that I've never been drunk? The only alcohol to ever enter me was a small sip of Mom's when I was younger and more curious. I decided at age 10 or so that I'm no fan of alcohol. Or maybe I made the decision a long time ago without really realizing it. I can't remember. Father, did you know I've never abused drugs before? Well, sometimes I take too many stress pills, but they can't possibly have a negative effect on me. I'm going in to grade 10 now, like I said, there's drugs and alcohol everywhere. I've even lost a few friends to drugs. One of my best friends gets drunk sometimes. And even though it's not often, I suspect she wishes it were. Really, at least half of my friends are in to alcohol. I'm told that most adults are too. This scares me. Maybe if everyone else lost their father like I lost you, they'd have a better understanding. I don't want to be too biased in believing alcohol is the root of all evil because, it isn't necessarily. Not all the time. But still, it scares me. I hope to avoid alcohol. I hope to think of it as honouring you, the important stranger in my life. Mom seems to only have bad things to say about you, so I never ask her about you anymore. You can't be as bad as she says you are, can you? I'm not part evil, am I? There's another conclusion I'll never reach. That said, bye Father.
There we go. If it strikes you as odd that I refer to the man that gave me birth as "Father", keep in mind that Father is the technical term of the male who's sperm fertilizes your mother's egg. Dad is stereotypically someone who teaches you how to ride a bike, picks you up from school, lets you bend rules and overprotects his daughter when she gets involved with boys. I don't really have a Dad unfortunately, though I know my mom tries her best to be both parents. Anyway.
I think I'll end this now. Writing felt good, just saying.
Bye now.
Oh, P.S. Guess who's dating Jesus Christ?... Yeah, that's right. :)
So first thing's first, today> it was pretty great. I just got back from seeing Toy Story 3. Oh my god, it was so good. It was intense, kind of funny, terribly upsetting, and incredibly happy. It was beeeaaaautiful :3
Now here goes the letters. DAY THREE.
Dear Mom,
I love you. I honestly couldn't ask for a better mother. You've raised me well, and you did it on your own too. You're a real hero. Sometimes, it's true, I feel a bit smothered, but I think that's the way it should be. I'd hate it if you were too slack, because then I'd run wild and expect everything to be handed to me. And you're still pretty easy going with things. I have the freedom I need, taking it all step by step, and I especially love how accepting you are. You encourage creativity and individuality. I'm sure I've let you down before, but believe me, I do try not to. I remember somewhere between grade 3 and 6, you fixed a barbeque and called yourself super mom, because that is typically "a man's job". I agree. You ARE supermom. I've learned how to stand on my own two feet because of you. You really do inspire me, and I'm so glad I've been able to spend my first almost 15 years with you. I honestly don't know what I would do without you, and I hope we always stay as close as we are now for years and years and years. I love you, Mama :3
Dear Father,
This is really difficult to write. You passed away when I was less than a year old. I guess some people could argue that you don't mean anything to me. For my own self, I think they're wrong. You gave me life. So much of me, comes directly from you. But, you're gone. I think about you a lot. I compare myself to my mother, and I always wonder if the traits she lacks, you had. But I'll never know. I hate thinking about you because I can never EVER reach a conclusion of any sort. It also upsets me how you left this world. You were far too young, and your death was unfair. Drunk driving. So cruel. That's affected me a lot too. As I'm getting older, I'm seeing alcohol and drugs around me more and more. Father, did you know that I've never been drunk? The only alcohol to ever enter me was a small sip of Mom's when I was younger and more curious. I decided at age 10 or so that I'm no fan of alcohol. Or maybe I made the decision a long time ago without really realizing it. I can't remember. Father, did you know I've never abused drugs before? Well, sometimes I take too many stress pills, but they can't possibly have a negative effect on me. I'm going in to grade 10 now, like I said, there's drugs and alcohol everywhere. I've even lost a few friends to drugs. One of my best friends gets drunk sometimes. And even though it's not often, I suspect she wishes it were. Really, at least half of my friends are in to alcohol. I'm told that most adults are too. This scares me. Maybe if everyone else lost their father like I lost you, they'd have a better understanding. I don't want to be too biased in believing alcohol is the root of all evil because, it isn't necessarily. Not all the time. But still, it scares me. I hope to avoid alcohol. I hope to think of it as honouring you, the important stranger in my life. Mom seems to only have bad things to say about you, so I never ask her about you anymore. You can't be as bad as she says you are, can you? I'm not part evil, am I? There's another conclusion I'll never reach. That said, bye Father.
There we go. If it strikes you as odd that I refer to the man that gave me birth as "Father", keep in mind that Father is the technical term of the male who's sperm fertilizes your mother's egg. Dad is stereotypically someone who teaches you how to ride a bike, picks you up from school, lets you bend rules and overprotects his daughter when she gets involved with boys. I don't really have a Dad unfortunately, though I know my mom tries her best to be both parents. Anyway.
I think I'll end this now. Writing felt good, just saying.
Bye now.
Oh, P.S. Guess who's dating Jesus Christ?... Yeah, that's right. :)
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