I'm really happy latelyy.
I still have my moments, but just generally, things are pretty decent right now. Maybe it's just the time of year, and that I've been really busy lately.
All week I've had a ton of art to panic about, so I've been really focused. I've also actually been hanging out with people, babysat once, been going to the gym a lot, and fixing my sleeping patterns a bit.
Yesterday I went skating with Emily, Korrin, Kristin and Sally (a girl from my school). I was TERRIBLE and so was Emily. Korrin picked it up decently and Kristin was a boss, of course. I only managed to skate properly once, but then I was going too fast, didn't know how to stop and ended up on my side, half on the ice, half on the wood part. Derrrrrp, right in front of Sally and some random parents, and I felt like such a loser. Also I have a giant bruise. Yep, so not going skating again, ever.
Anyway, then Korrin, Sally and I went to a Shawarma place downtown and smoked sheesha. It was really weird, just sitting there in the middle of a restauranty place, smoking out of a giant hookah, though really nice too. The three of us sat there just smoking and chatting for a while and I really enjoyed it. Sheesha gives me a really nice feeling and it tastes great, though I'm not gonna make a habit out of it. Eventually Emily and Kristin joined us and we hung out there until we had to catch a bus home.
I felt a lot of anxiety, being around my closest friends and someone who I'd only talked to once or twice at school before. Sally's pretty awesome though, and hopefully she'll hang out with us more. I guess it's about time I make friends at Beal.
I have a lot of acquaintances but I don't really care for them and they barely notice I exist. The only other new person I consider close to a friend is in my art class. He's super nice and sometimes I hang out at lunch with him, just the two of us, if I can't find/don't care to see anyone I'm normally with at lunch.
Anyway. This week's gonna be busy.
Tomorrow I'm gift wrapping at the mall for volunteer hours with Emily, and then again on Friday. Wednesday I'm finishing my christmas shopping, Thursday I'm likely going to STA in the afternoon, and then ohhmygodChristmas on Sunday.
I'm excited for the holidays to start, so I can see more people, party, do art, and other stuff. :3
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
I just found out I have to go to my mom's boyfriend's parents house on Christmas.
Last year, I liked seeing them because they were some sad excuse for a family I barely even have. This year, I'm really not looking forward to it.
My mom shouldn't even be dating this guy. They've been on and off for literally 20 years, give or take a few, and it's only a matter of time before he turns into a jerk again and she feels like shit right up until the next time she has a boyfriend or gets back together with him. So no, I don't really feel like being around his family, especially on Christmas. Enough is enough.
Not to mention it's all adults there except for myself, my brother and his niece and nephew who are 6 and 9 or something like that. So the entire time, my brother and I are expected to spend time with those two kids. But this year, because Taylor's 19, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have to. Greeeeaaaaaat.
I'm trying to think positively about this and bring back my excessive Christmas cheer but just jkfnsdknfs.
Last year, I liked seeing them because they were some sad excuse for a family I barely even have. This year, I'm really not looking forward to it.
My mom shouldn't even be dating this guy. They've been on and off for literally 20 years, give or take a few, and it's only a matter of time before he turns into a jerk again and she feels like shit right up until the next time she has a boyfriend or gets back together with him. So no, I don't really feel like being around his family, especially on Christmas. Enough is enough.
Not to mention it's all adults there except for myself, my brother and his niece and nephew who are 6 and 9 or something like that. So the entire time, my brother and I are expected to spend time with those two kids. But this year, because Taylor's 19, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have to. Greeeeaaaaaat.
I'm trying to think positively about this and bring back my excessive Christmas cheer but just jkfnsdknfs.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
This weekend's been really good.
I finally hung out with my bffl and his awesome boyfriend yesterday, and some other people, and saw rent and saw someone I hadn't seen in a reeeaaally long time and it was all really good and I was really happy.
Today was also great. We decorated my house, put the tree up, etc, then Emily and I went to Value Village. We bought ugly knitted sweaters for the upcoming Christmas party. Then we went to the mall, where we ran into Nigel and then into Korrin! Emily, Korrin and I hung out in walmart for a while, then bussed to Byron and it was just like things used to be, when the three of us hung out more often. It was so great, just being with my childhood best friends, all happy together and like nothing's changed.
Then we got to byron and I saw someone I don't want to see and it sucked and I feel like shit and the one person I would normally talk to right now can't talk and yeah.
Whatever, I need to not care. yep. okay. This is not going to ruin my fabulous feeling/start to December, because I'm not going to care, I'm just gonna listen to good music and work on my drawing of a decapitated child for design concepts.
I finally hung out with my bffl and his awesome boyfriend yesterday, and some other people, and saw rent and saw someone I hadn't seen in a reeeaaally long time and it was all really good and I was really happy.
Today was also great. We decorated my house, put the tree up, etc, then Emily and I went to Value Village. We bought ugly knitted sweaters for the upcoming Christmas party. Then we went to the mall, where we ran into Nigel and then into Korrin! Emily, Korrin and I hung out in walmart for a while, then bussed to Byron and it was just like things used to be, when the three of us hung out more often. It was so great, just being with my childhood best friends, all happy together and like nothing's changed.
Then we got to byron and I saw someone I don't want to see and it sucked and I feel like shit and the one person I would normally talk to right now can't talk and yeah.
Whatever, I need to not care. yep. okay. This is not going to ruin my fabulous feeling/start to December, because I'm not going to care, I'm just gonna listen to good music and work on my drawing of a decapitated child for design concepts.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Cue mother rant/
So, I love my mom, and generally she's not the most controlling person. But she has this one rule which is the most ridiculous thing, and I hate it so much.
She doesn't let me burn candles.
...I'm sixteen. I can be trusted to stay until 1, to go to concerts, to go to an lgbt club, to get a job, to have a car (once I get my g1), to go to a high school downtown, etc. Strangers trust me in their home, with their children, and expect me to make a meal using an oven. Me, cooking! I'm pretty sure that's a bigger fire hazard than one candle.
I spend majority of my time in my room, usually not leaving it for hours at a time. I never have people over, the cats don't come in here, and my room is finally clean! There's actually safe surfaces in here for a candle to burn.
Yet she still won't let me burn candles, the smallest, most insignificant task in the world. I'm literally the only person I know that isn't allowed.
I just wish my mom was more easygoing. Even with the freedom I do have, there's a hundred rules I still have to acknowledge. Y u no have faith, mother? Let me make my own choices and start learning things by myself.
But of course I could never tell her these things because she'd just get mad, and I can't deal with angry parents.
/end rant
So, I love my mom, and generally she's not the most controlling person. But she has this one rule which is the most ridiculous thing, and I hate it so much.
She doesn't let me burn candles.
...I'm sixteen. I can be trusted to stay until 1, to go to concerts, to go to an lgbt club, to get a job, to have a car (once I get my g1), to go to a high school downtown, etc. Strangers trust me in their home, with their children, and expect me to make a meal using an oven. Me, cooking! I'm pretty sure that's a bigger fire hazard than one candle.
I spend majority of my time in my room, usually not leaving it for hours at a time. I never have people over, the cats don't come in here, and my room is finally clean! There's actually safe surfaces in here for a candle to burn.
Yet she still won't let me burn candles, the smallest, most insignificant task in the world. I'm literally the only person I know that isn't allowed.
I just wish my mom was more easygoing. Even with the freedom I do have, there's a hundred rules I still have to acknowledge. Y u no have faith, mother? Let me make my own choices and start learning things by myself.
But of course I could never tell her these things because she'd just get mad, and I can't deal with angry parents.
/end rant
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