Oh blog, my dear friend, I love you. We've been through so much together!
I'm gonna blog about night.
so I went to alia's and everyone was drunk when I got there. They drank all the alcohol already :(( So they were all, oh my god mandy, TOUCHYTOUCHYTOUCHY. I felt very uncomfortable and didn't want to go back when we went to get pizza, but then I found out they were getting more alcohol, so I said HELL YEAHHH. Pardon my typing I think I'm not fully sober yet. I did shots for the first time... we bought two bottles of tequila, lol. I had 5 shots whilst sitting on korrin's lap, and then I drank a lot of random remainders sitting around so by thetime Iw as done it was more like 6. I wrote a bunch of mushy shit on peoples walls and tried to type nicely but it was hard and I ended up deleting most of them (sorry alexander). Then I got up and walked around and looked over the balcony of the 8th floor which was friggin weird. Everytime I flipped my hair it felt like my head would spin all the way around. Eventually everything was spinning, and at some point I was crying on alia's bed, but I got over it pretty fast. I remember eric had the prettiest eyes ever and I couldn't stop staring. And I kept talking about jared, which was embarassing, but thank god I didn't text him or write on his wall. I kissed some people and made out with korrin. It was really sloppy. Oops. I just remember stumbling around a lot and telling people why I loved them. I didn't say anything too embarassing, thank god. I don't want to drink again for a good while. Just like, every couple of months is good. Then I woke up at 5am and started crying and saying I want to go home, why aren't I home? It took about 5 minutes to realize I was in my bed. Then I cleaned my spirals and laid back down and I feel completely fine. Well, my stomach's a tiny bit upset, but that's nothing compared to how upset it's been for the past 2 weeks.
Now I feel sad though, cause I keep thinking about missing Jared and if he didn't hate me so much, like if it were august again, it would've been so fun to drink with him there. Though I wouldn't have drank in august anyway. Thne he;d drive me hom e after like he didafter shows and I'd feel so secure no matter how craszy my ight was, and I miss standing on my driveway with him. The other night i wsa on my riveway and it made me freally sad because i remembered in august when he was in florida for 2 weeks and we missed each other soo much, he kept rereading our texts cause he missed me, and i'd lay on my drivewya and text him and we both looked at the moon and it was cool cause we were both looking at the same moon. Then he came home and we ewere so happy. I wish he misse dme now like he did then, but he never will. i could just cry, but i don't know if ican do that right now cause i've cried so much in the past two weeks. I jsut miss him so much. who he was, anyway. i know things ae different now nad he lied to me, but you know, in 2010 things were the best. i miss the cute things he ddid. he did a lot of cute things. i could list them all, but... Guuuh, thinks were so good. I used to always tell him he was the best and i really did mean it. he really was the best, for that time period anyway. guhguhguhguh Ij ust resally miss him. And I'm wide awake and I just want to go to sleep. Obviously I'm not completely sober because my fingers stil don't like me that much and I normally post stuff like this in my fully private journal. Though the only person that reads this is alexander, so i guess it's okay.
Neh. Also, emily was a really good friend through this all. It's a good thing she was there otherwise things would've gotten out of hand.
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