Homesick for things I know don't think of me.

I don't like a lot of the things I've done in the past 7 months. Well more like 5, because October and September is when things started turning around.
I don't like that I continue to be so withdrawn with the people who mean the most. I know they won't be here forever. I don't like that I've been lying to my mom, but I guess it's been worth it that I've been getting out more often because of it. I don't like certain parties, in particular the ones where I hook up with people I shouldn't. I don't even think I like that I dated Mat. I don't like how I handled any of that, and I nearly hate that there was a second go at that. I don't like having absolutely no recollection of some nights. I don't mind forgetting bits and pieces, but there's a line to draw. I don't like how downright lazy I was with my school work last year and anything worth doing over the summer. I don't like how difficult it's made it to get back into the swing of things at school this year. I don't like this terrible anxiety. I don't like lying.

I do like that I'm becoming more aware. I like that I've been working on a better lifestyle. I like that I've got better control with certain things previously listed. I like the art program, a lot. I like where things are going, even though it's really difficult right now.