Ughughugh I miss my friends. I don't even know if I can call them friends anymore because I suck and can't maintain friendships anymore and djsnfkjd. The tiniest little reminder jumps out of nowhere and hits me in the face with nostalgia and terrible heart-breaky-achey-ness and I miss everyone so much, I need an extra strength glue stick or something to put this all back together.
What goddamn direction was I looking in when the changing point occurred?
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I am once again blogging from my iPod because my laptop is broken. Again. Cool. Anyway, lots going on lately. Today was Jason's 21st birthday and also the 6th month mark since he died. A bunch of his friends, myself included, all went to palasad to celebrate in his honor. I'm really happy with how it went! I felt a bit awkward at first, but the last 2 hours or so, I didn't feel anxious at all and actually managed to socialize. It's so crazy for me, talking to people comfortably without feeling the need to be under the influence. I'm kind of proud, I guess. I've been thinking a lot about Jason lately and the impact his death has had on so many people. In a way, it's kind of made me realize that I should socialize more because life can be so incredibly short. I dunno. Plus I feel okay around these people because I know they're all great people. Jason only befriended great people, it seems. My thoughts go out to all his lovely friends and family, I can only imagine how they feel. In other news, I feel a bit optimistic right now. I finally have 4 people I could basically call friends at s c hool. Not close friends, but at least something familiar I can occasionally converse with when I see them ahool. I'm excited to be free from sewing and law, too. I hope this positive feeling can stay with me for a good while.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Latelyyy.
Today I applied at East Side Mario's... I have an interview next week "hollaaaah". I hate it when people say "holla" or whatever. Anyway, yeah. Who knows, maybe I'll finally actually get a job.
School is back, I've been really overwhelmed with photography class. I cannot wait for it to be over, pinhole cameras annoy the shit out of me. Sewing is crappy, just going through the motions every day. It's tiresome, but at least my teacher is interesting. Law consists of ISPs I have no initiative to write. Not at school, anyway. We work in a lab where douchebags usually sit on either side of me- douchebags who like to sit at their computer with the Beal homepage up for the entire class, while they stare out of the corner of their eye at my screen because they don't want to do work. I just read articles from the free press. It's relevant to my ISP, at least. Better than surfing tumblr... scary thought, surfing tumblr with douchebags staring at my screen would be an issue, considering all the nudity all up in my dash. Yeah, let's not test that...
I have figure drawing tomorrow! Finally. I haven't had that class in 3 or 4 weeks. But maybe I won't even have that class, because tomorrow's Beal's 100th birthday and there's all this shit going on and lack of classes and yeah.
ALSO I FINALLY MADE A FRIEND <3 She has stunning green eyes, grey and white hair, the sweetest smile ever, oh and a tail. Yeah, she's a cat I met today while I was spelunking downtown for photography class. The house she lives at is about a 10 minute walk from school and she absolutely adores me. I've decided to nickname her Fallon because it suits her and I don't know her real name. Come to think of it, I don't even know if she is actually a she. I can pretend though. So anyway, I've decided I'm going to visit her at least once every photography class (assuming I'm shooting) and maybe even bring her cat treats. And on the days when it's nice out but I have no one to hang out with at lunch, I might go see her then too. I don't care if that's lame, cats > humans.
I'm spending less lunches alone though. Korrin and Amber literally had to drag me to the church the other day, but I managed, and I even talked to someone new. I don't know. I'm more uncomfortable than ever around everyone else in the world though.
I think I'll stop blogging now while I'm still ahead. Or, above. Not quite depressing or something, YEAH. Okay, bye.
Today I applied at East Side Mario's... I have an interview next week "hollaaaah". I hate it when people say "holla" or whatever. Anyway, yeah. Who knows, maybe I'll finally actually get a job.
School is back, I've been really overwhelmed with photography class. I cannot wait for it to be over, pinhole cameras annoy the shit out of me. Sewing is crappy, just going through the motions every day. It's tiresome, but at least my teacher is interesting. Law consists of ISPs I have no initiative to write. Not at school, anyway. We work in a lab where douchebags usually sit on either side of me- douchebags who like to sit at their computer with the Beal homepage up for the entire class, while they stare out of the corner of their eye at my screen because they don't want to do work. I just read articles from the free press. It's relevant to my ISP, at least. Better than surfing tumblr... scary thought, surfing tumblr with douchebags staring at my screen would be an issue, considering all the nudity all up in my dash. Yeah, let's not test that...
I have figure drawing tomorrow! Finally. I haven't had that class in 3 or 4 weeks. But maybe I won't even have that class, because tomorrow's Beal's 100th birthday and there's all this shit going on and lack of classes and yeah.
ALSO I FINALLY MADE A FRIEND <3 She has stunning green eyes, grey and white hair, the sweetest smile ever, oh and a tail. Yeah, she's a cat I met today while I was spelunking downtown for photography class. The house she lives at is about a 10 minute walk from school and she absolutely adores me. I've decided to nickname her Fallon because it suits her and I don't know her real name. Come to think of it, I don't even know if she is actually a she. I can pretend though. So anyway, I've decided I'm going to visit her at least once every photography class (assuming I'm shooting) and maybe even bring her cat treats. And on the days when it's nice out but I have no one to hang out with at lunch, I might go see her then too. I don't care if that's lame, cats > humans.
I'm spending less lunches alone though. Korrin and Amber literally had to drag me to the church the other day, but I managed, and I even talked to someone new. I don't know. I'm more uncomfortable than ever around everyone else in the world though.
I think I'll stop blogging now while I'm still ahead. Or, above. Not quite depressing or something, YEAH. Okay, bye.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Today was a great day :)
My room is clean yet again, pretty soon I'll be putting art and other delightful stuff up on my walls and I might move some furniture around. This is good.
Today Rachel came over! I haven't legitimately hung out with her in probably about a year, so that was great. It felt exactly like old times and we agreed to hangout more, which is fantastic because I'd hate to lose one of my oldest friends.
Afterwards Emily and I went downtown and got pierced, always a delight.
Holidays are almost over and this makes me sad. I don't particularly want to go back to stupid classes like law, being around stupid people constantly, not sleeping, exams, etc.. but it's inevitable. Oh well.
My room is clean yet again, pretty soon I'll be putting art and other delightful stuff up on my walls and I might move some furniture around. This is good.
Today Rachel came over! I haven't legitimately hung out with her in probably about a year, so that was great. It felt exactly like old times and we agreed to hangout more, which is fantastic because I'd hate to lose one of my oldest friends.
Afterwards Emily and I went downtown and got pierced, always a delight.
Holidays are almost over and this makes me sad. I don't particularly want to go back to stupid classes like law, being around stupid people constantly, not sleeping, exams, etc.. but it's inevitable. Oh well.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012 is off to a good start :)
I was at Korrin's last night with Emily, partying of course. We counted down, called a bunch of people, then went to sleep around 4. Except I couldn't sleep, so I listened to my ipod until 8am, attempted to clean up in the dark a bit, slept for 3 hours, then went home, where I had a really nice nap. Today's been really relaxing, and now tonight I'm going to do some productive things.
I figured out what my resolution is, but I'm not going to blog about it here. I want to keep it to myself. Anyway, yeah. That's 2012.
I was at Korrin's last night with Emily, partying of course. We counted down, called a bunch of people, then went to sleep around 4. Except I couldn't sleep, so I listened to my ipod until 8am, attempted to clean up in the dark a bit, slept for 3 hours, then went home, where I had a really nice nap. Today's been really relaxing, and now tonight I'm going to do some productive things.
I figured out what my resolution is, but I'm not going to blog about it here. I want to keep it to myself. Anyway, yeah. That's 2012.
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