So last night was fabulous :) I talked to people and made friends, yaaay. All of them were 20 and older though, yaaaay. I was talking to one of them about how I used to be super straightedge and he told me I didn't do it for very long. He was straightedge till he was like 18 or 20 or something. That made me realize how young I really am. I'm not quite 16 yet and already I've been drunk way more times than my 19 year old brother. It's just weird. At the same time, I can't really help it. I know this is a bad excuse but it's just so fucking difficult being a "straightedge" teenager. Nobody likes you. You don't get invited to things, even small get togethers. Everyone thinks you're boring and assumes you hate them if you find out they drink or whatever. It just puts up so many social walls, and it gets lonely. So yeah, I've conformed. It had to happen. I think I might've blogged about this before, but anyway.

It was a lot easier to stay away from this stuff last year. I had Jared, who was also straightedge, so whenever I felt like my friends hated me/forever alone/etc I could always talk to him about it and he understood perfectly. When my friends were all getting high, I had him to play video games with. Cute, right? But obviously I don't have that now, as even a friend at the least, and he gave up the straightedgeness anyway. I guess that was the breaking point, it was way too difficult to do it alone.

I'm just glad I'm not reliant on this stuff. I can have a great time without all that stuff, but I can have a great time with it too. I'm only young once, so I guess I shouldn't feel lame about conforming. Better to live a life of oh wells instead of what ifs. Also, bonus, I didn't do anything stupid last night (other than drink way too much way too fast, but now I know).

So that said, next week is Alia's party. The day after is Nigel's party. The following weekend is Zach's party. The weekend after that is my birthday. Hi, I need a job. Anyway, yeah. Partiespartiesparties. I'm glad I'm making friends and getting out of the house more. The partying will cool down once school comes around, I'm sure.

Basically, I'm happier lately. Staying home too much makes me very unhappy, as you can tell by previous posts. Other issues are still ever present, but that's okay. Byebyepost.