Hello there.
It has to be said... 2010!
I pressed cap locks, even though there's no letters in 2010.


I'll tell you about the party I went to, because I don't want to forget it. :)

So, first things first, in the previous entry where I said how stoked I was... LIE. All day I had been an anxious mess on the inside. Then Marcus came to drive me there, and I was really freaking out. So what did I do? I kept thinking "easy peasy pumpkin pie, motherfucker". Gerard said that once... for some reason, I find it helpful. Kind of strange, but whatever. Anyway, I got there 10 minutes later than I thought because we had trouble finding the house, which I was glad. But then we found it, and I was a very scared little girl. He pulled into the driveway, and I just sat there and said "I don't want to go..."

THEN. A bunch of people came running outside to see who was there? That was my chance. I said bye and got out of the car, swarmed by my acquantainces, and some new faces. Hugs, too. So, I was introduced, and then we went upstairs. Awkward, but bearable. Then outside. Snowball fights and snowmen? It was fun. Then inside. Then Korrin came. My little saviour. I played the role of static cling for a while. The party branched off into clicks a bit, but I didn't mind. Too many people can make for unneeded chaos. Oh well. It was fun. At one point, I even ended up in the closet, lights off, with Korrin and two others? I think it was still pretty cool. 10 o'clock was when things pulled themselves together. The clicks all got together (except for the one I was with) and watched a sing a long movie. Cute. I chatted with Alyssia and Jamie, while Korrin worked out some issues. Oh, and I played Kerplunk too. It's not my forte. Then Korrin and Sky joined us, and slowly, so did everyone else, in the dungeonlike basement. We all sat around in a big jolly circle (with two exceptions) and just... were being epic, discussing 2009 and 2010. It was good. Then we counted down the seconds and, y'know. Yelled and jumped and hugged. Then we toasted (non-alcholic :]) and got a group photo. Then- my favourite part of the evening- I conversed with someone. They told me something that many people are constantly telling me the exact opposite of. We had a really good conversation, and he really enlightened me. I can't even quite fathom how... great it was? You wouldn't know. Also, I spoke to someone I'd never spoken to before. Then, I sat in a not so round circle, and talked a bit, but mostly just pondered what I'd just been told. I was also realizing how much I'd fail to pay much attention to a newer friend of mine. I feel pretty horrible about that. So then I went to go find Korrin and Sky. My evening ended hanging around in Veronika's room, and saying goodbye to people.

This entry will fail to mention how glad I really am that I attended. The content feeling I have about all of this is... well, it's a feeling. Words won't capture it, but I know I won't forget it.

Oh, and I have two resolutions? The first one, you'll never know. The second one, is to not feel like a failure if number one falls through. It's okay to fail. Both are going extremely well, so far.


That's enough for tonight. Goodnight. :)

I LOST THIS ENTRY THEN FOUND IT. YAY.

cute, isn't it?

The sound of money, the sound of pain; makes me start thinking I'm better off insane. She's so tired that she hardly speaks. You can tell she lost her one true love. So now we write each other back and forth just to find some meaning in the girl. These hurtful words, there hurtful names... I know that you planned out this way. I can't stop thinking that you broke my mind. Was it worth it now? With your hands in your pockets you're crying out, "I am nothing without this". You know you're just a kid, with nothing up ahead, except for years and year of tears and lies. You'll break your heart almost everytime.

Anyway, I'm going to a new years party tonight. I don't actually know the person who's house it's at. But I'm pretty stoked. Hooray for social opportunities? Soooooo stoked. Yep. Kbye.

Hi world. I don't know, I figured it'd been a while.
I did previously post details of my Christmas... then I took it down, just because I can. Basically, my holidays have consisted of hanging out with Emily, and talking to new friends. Basically. New Years is finally here, and I'm a bit of a mess. Did I mention it came back?

It came back.

Thank you, and good night.

you'll rebel to anything as long as it's not challenging.

I had an amazing Christmas. Details later.

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You don't mean it.
You need a uniform so you won't be ignored. You are affected and so you're accepted. It's time you invested in a bottle of poison so we don't have to hear about you bitching and moaning. You think you could afford a fuckin bottle of asprin? Boo fuckin hoo, you're not the only one whose life's a piece of shit, and yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it. Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists? In fact, I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit.
You don't mean it.
You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots. You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock. You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong? I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons.
You don't mean it.
---------------------------------------------

(: Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror.

it's that time again.

Christmas is upon us once again.
This year, I must admit, I'm in a much better place. Not physically, of course. This time last year I was sitting in this same corner of my room, actually, writing to my livejournal. And now an entire year has gone by. It kind of feels like nothing has changed, and it hasn't been that long.
But that's so incorrect, it's laughable, isn't it? Laughable? I don't think that's a word.
2009 has had many changes. The loss of the 3 friends, and gaining more friends than I ever would have guessed. My family has two new additions, and thankfully, we haven't lost any this year. We're going through hard times right now, but we went through some of the best earlier on this year. I don't look the same anymore. I've grown up, learned things, and made a few mistakes along the way. I'm learning what people to accept and what people to... I don't want to say exclude... more like, stay away from. I'm learning more about people, and their personalities, and understanding them much better. I hate this; I'm so cheesy. But all of this is true.

2009, you've been painful. It can easily be said that you've been my most painful year yet. But, you sure aren't failing to shed a bit of light towards your ending. I have high hopes for 2010. :)

Tomorrow is Christmas. I'm pretty excited, and I've got a strong case of Christmas cheer upon me right now. Hope all is well for all of you (not that I'm too sure anyone reads this anymore) and you have a truley good day. ^______^

Bye for now.

hey moon,

please forget to fall down.

Lately,
I've been

talking

too much.
Like now. Goodbye.

the past mistakes that brought you here will break the fall for you, my dear.

Hi world who is not actually the world.
Yesterday I had another day that was so fail, it was win.
I hung out around the library and drank coffee and what not during the a.m., then I took THE NO-LONGER ON STRIKE AND TEMPORARILY FREE CITY BUSES to a mall with Sam, aka super rad nugget child. Fuck, I can't type today. Anyway, I bought my friend some shizz for christmas, then we wandered around and got a genius idea. Let's bus on over to Sam's epic friends' house! Huzzah! So we did. They weren't home, but it was lots of fun anyway. I don't feel like going into detail. Uhh. We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas? Lovely. I just lost my want to blog.

However, there's two pieces of mail upstairs with my name on them, and I've got an armful of presents to wrap. I'm loving the whole "Christmas holidays" thing. Bye.