dumpy slumpy.

I am mourning the loss of the glorious break.
It's been a really lovely two weeks... I've got to spend time with plenty of people, started an etching and a sculpture, drawn a bit, worked a bit and gotten a lot of sleep. I think the latest I ever slept in was 12:30, which is pretty damn good for my standards. I'm kind of happy to go back to school, because I want to keep working on my art projects... however, I only have two weeks left of my current studios which is going to make me want to shoot myself in the face as I attempt to get everything done. English is worrisome too, mostly because I haven't read all of this crappy book she assigned over the break or started the project due tomorrow. I mean, technically for me it's not due for a few days, I guess. So that's good. I just seriously have to be motivated for the next two weeks which will be a struggle. I'll manage though.

I'm not looking forward to being stressed, anxious and uncomfortable every day, ugh.. that's my main worry. I hate the way I get when I have to do small tasks that I'm not confident about, which is like 50% of the art program. fndkjfnskfnjsd I'm freaking out just thinking about it now. I never remember anything our teacher's teach during lessons because I don't know, I don't retain information? I think I've been having trouble focusing. I don't know what the hell my problem is, but when I actually have to do these procedures I have to have Michelle practically walk me through every single step and I know she's getting annoyed with me. Uggh I feel useless. If I try to do stuff on my own, I almost always screw it up and then have a panic attack over the embarassment, rendering me useless for the rest of the day. I also hate working near people. I'm starting to be swarmed with memories of how fucking shitty and painful it is having this stupid fucking social anxiety.

aaand we're back to the ultimate question of "how the hell am i ever going to survive in the real world"