Things are even stranger lately... last night I found out something crappy about Jake and it hurt me so much that I've told him not to talk to me for a bit. He called at least 15 times last night, sent a bunch of texts and a message trying to apologize but I don't want to hear it. I'm just... so incredibly let down. And I don't trust him one bit. I think at this moment it'd be very easy for me to break up with him and feel happy about it... but I also know that it'd only be short term happiness and long term sadness. So I'm not going to, but I think it'll be quite a while before things with him start to feel okay again. Luckily I didn't see him today, so avoiding him has been easy and not dwelling on the pain has also been kind of easy. I had a busy day.

This morning I worked on my sculpture until about 10:50, then I went to the library to talk to Korrin about what happened with Jake. Lunch starts at 11:15, and I hung out with someone! His name's Jordan and we've been texting buddies since the start of summer but we've only hung out once for less than an hour and our conversations at school are always brief. He's a full day art kid, so I do see him around a lot. Today he invited me to blaze at lunch with him, which I agreed to, because I have 4th spare so it'd be okay. We sat behind a flower shop smoking and talking until about halfway through 4th and it was a lot of fun. I hope he thought so, too. I really want to become better friends with him because he appreciates art like I do and we have other things in common, too. So, yeah... that was fun, and made me happy. And it took my mind off Jake. For the rest of 4th I sat with korrin in the computers class we always hang out in then wrote a test during 5th. I was sober by then, but I didn't study much so I'm almost certain I failed. It's just one test though, so whatever.

After school I worked on a ceramic project that I started last week. It was also very useful for taking my mind off Jake. The project's coming along really nicely, too. Later tonight I went to a doctor's appointment and told her my pills are making me feel worse, because they are. She said to go back in a week and if I'm still feeling awful, I'll have to start taking something else. I also start counseling on december 6th. Joy, oh joy. I think I'll go to bed early now. Goodnight.